In the very act of asking, in the very nature of the request, we acknowledge that the other person can say no, and, “innocent as doves,” we accept that response. We are not set to punish him or her for saying no. Yet we ask, and we are supposed to ask, and in by far the most cases he or she does not say no. “Ask,” Jesus said, “and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened to you.” That is how we are to relate to others. And that is the primary intention of this much-quoted passage. As Emily Dickinson has written, The soul selects her own society, Then shuts the
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