Two-month sleep study. Participant must be able to pass out on toilets for up to one hour at a time. Nudity optional. Data will be used to determine the crippling effects of modern life on the physical and psychological health of the individual. Generous compensation package including full health benefits, open bar, 3.4 million dollar stipend, worldwide fame and scientific immortality. Only serious applicants need apply. We are an equal opportunity employer.
Life, this is life
