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“I honestly don’t know what I liked about you.” A Cheshire cat grin lifts his lips. “Oh? Is this a confession?” “No, this is me calling myself daft. I think I liked the idea of you, but when I got close, I realized you’re like your statues. Gorgeous on the outside.” I tap his chest twice. “Empty on the inside.”
“You didn’t; why would I? Besides, it was only a phase, no? Because you somehow got on Jeremy’s radar and you grew to like it. I rooted for you. I even encouraged it. In that fight, I noticed he was looking at you and I wanted to test him, so I said, ‘How does it feel to fancy someone who loves me?’ Kind of got beaten up for it, but confirming he has feelings for you was worth it. The mighty Jeremy in luuurve. Isn’t that poetic?”
“The only date you’ll have is for a funeral.”
“You don’t seem to understand this, so let me clarify it for you. Any dick that comes near you will be cut off and you’ll bathe in its blood. I might have given you space, but I still own your ass. And cunt. And mouth. Everything about you belongs to me. You belong to me. But if you’re in the mood to test that, by all means, do. I will maim as many motherfuckers in front of you as you wish until you have your fill.”
“I know you think badly of Creigh because of what he’s done, and I understand that. I understand that Anni is your only sibling and someone you consider to be under your protection. You love her, and have cared for her since she was born, so you feel the need to shield her whenever someone comes close, but you need to understand that she’s old enough to make her own decisions now. You also need to understand that Creigh and I were raised together. He’s like my brother, and I also feel the need to protect him.”
You are mine, Cecily.
I kiss her with unbounded hunger. I kiss her as I’ve never kissed anyone before. Before her, any physical intimacy with the opposite sex was merely to satiate a need. With Cecily, she is the need. It’s not about fucking, owning, or release. It’s about her and her intoxicating scent. It’s about how she melts in my arms when I kiss her.
Cecily is neither. She’s the gray. She’s the colors. She’s every rainbow I never thought to stop and watch.
“You’re not allowed to get over me, Lisichka.”
“You’ve taken worse than this. You can handle me, Lisichka.”
“You won’t let anyone else touch you or I swear to fuck, it’ll be the last time they touch anything.”
“How you look when you come apart while saying my name.”
“I do own you, Cecily. Every last fucking inch of you. Whether you get used to that or don’t. Whether you have a rebellion or not,
the fact remains you’re a whore for my cock. You’re a whore for me.”
“Mum always told me that once I embrace my scars, I’ll feel more comfortable in my skin. I want to be comfortable in my skin more than anything. I want to stop my head from tormenting me with the past.”
“Are you psychoanalyzing me?” I smile down at her. “It’s a turn-on.” She pushes at my chest playfully and shakes her head. “Everything is a turn-on according to your logic.”
“Only when it comes to you. Not my fault you’re the sexiest person alive.”
And yet, Cecily has managed to open my eyes to a different perspective. To the fact that maybe Mom wasn’t too far gone back then. That maybe she tried to fight for me, after all. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to speak about the first six years of my life and barely keeps any pictures from that time.
Jeremy has taught me that I can enjoy ordinary sex.
“No. He’ll have to lose his dignity and his mind, and even that won’t be enough payment for how he made you suffer. He stripped away your power, so I’m confiscating his in return. He’ll be trapped in that prison for eternity without being able to fight his way out. Just like he made you feel trapped in your own body.”
“I’m not a nice man, Cecily. I won’t pretend otherwise, or I’d be doing you and myself a disservice. What I am, however, is someone who’ll slaughter your demons one by one until you’re finally free of them. I’ll touch your scars until you normalize them and can live with them, because they’re part of what makes you who you are.”
“I fell for the idea of him, not his true self. I doubt anyone has actually seen what his true nature is like.
I fell for Jeremy the exact opposite way I fell for Lan. I liked the image Lan projected but was repulsed by his true anarchist, empty self. I hated Jeremy at first sight. His otherworldly physique and handsome looks were a mere camouflage of a monster, but the more I got to know him, the harder I fell for the hidden parts of him.
Because I care about you and I’d rather understand than let you go.
He’s a beast, but he’s the beast who breathes life into me. He’s the beast who’d slaughter the world to pieces just to protect me from it. He’s my beast.
Little does she know that I’m the worst monster in her life. She might be starting to understand me and get used to me, but I always have this feeling that I’ll fuck it up in some way. Maybe I’ll do something that will make her hate me, become insufferable about it, and then everything will go to hell.
Awww love he acknowledges this insecurity.
“I have always seen you.”
“As I said, you’re not my dirty little secret. I’m not embarrassed of you,
Nikolai rolls onto the floor when I kick him in the ribs. He’s had it coming since earlier. “What the fuck was that for?” he yells, gripping his side. “My leg slipped.” “You lying fuck!”
“You’re not. You’re the most entertaining person I know.” “But you said I’m dull.” “That’s because I don’t want others' attention on you.”
“What if…what if…we’d never met?” “We would’ve sooner or later.” “How do you know?” “You were always meant to be mine, Cecily.”
She’s the only person whose company I feel free in. There’s no sense of duty nor a weight on my shoulders. There’s just me and her. Cecily Knight is the calm in a loud, chaotic world.
“Well, to be honest, I still can’t find anything off with that. Your father certainly would, but I want to hug this Jeremy for being there for you during a difficult time and even convincing you not to think like a victim.”
I love Jeremy.
Cecy was just telling me so much about you.” He raises a brow, glides his attention to my daughter, then back to my wife. “She was?” “Why yes. The way she talked about you made me look forward to meeting you.”
Is it free labor if I cook for you?” “That’s different. You don’t have to.” “I don’t have to either, Papa.” Cecily strokes my arm. “I just like cooking with him.” “That’s called Stockholm syndrome.” Cecily laughs as if I’m being ridiculous. “He didn’t kidnap me.” “I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He looks like the type. Also, there doesn’t need to be a kidnapping for the syndrome to happen.”
“Jeremy makes me the best version of myself. He cares about my well-being, makes sure my comfort comes before his, built me a bookshelf in his house and filled it with my mangas, and even lets me sleep on his lap. So no, I don’t want someone better.”
“She listened to me like no one else has.”
“Jeremy is the man who helped Cecily fight her demons.”
You smell so good I could eat you up. Fucking water lilies.”
“You’ll never be out of my sight again, Cecily.”
“Fuck, you’re ready and soaking wet for me. Such a good girl, my Cecily.”
He pinches my nipple and drives into me with a savage rhythm. “Your tight little cunt is swallowing my fingers and messing up my hand, so maybe it’s horny instead of hot. I bet she wants to be fucked so good, until you’re begging me to stop in that sexy little voice of yours.”
“But I love it when you’re horny for me.” He rotates his hips, and a huge erection bumps against the crack of my arse. “I love how your body melts into mine, how every part of you comes to life at my touch. I love how you clench around my fingers and cock as if refusing to let me go.”
“You look so beautiful when you come.”
“I’m going to claim this hole tonight, Lisichka. It’s going to be mine, too, like your cunt, your mouth. You.”
I want him to own every part of me, too.
“You’re my perfect little whore, but you’re also my good girl. I’m going to fuck you like you’re both.”
“You can take me.” He adds another inch, more easily this time. “Don’t push me out. Swallow my cock like you’re asking for it.”
He fucks me like he hates me, wants me, and is obsessed with me. He fucks me with long, harsh strokes, so deep and firm that I bump against the glass with each one.
