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Her makeup table barely has anything on it aside from different brands of sunscreen. And perfume. Water lilies. I can’t help spraying it into the air and inhaling it. Smells like Cecily. But not quite. It’s missing the scent of her skin. I put back the bottle exactly where I found it, like a perfect creep, but then I place it on its side. I don’t give a fuck if she knows I went through her things. In fact, I want her to.
And mangas. Slice of life. Shounen, and… I grab one and my brows lift. Boys’ love. Well, well. Would you look at that?
“You need to stop forcing labels on yourself.” I skim through the articles written by some hotshot psychologists who try not to be judgy but sometimes let their true colors show. Cecily must’ve been in a position where she had to see her preferences through a professional lens and wondered if something was wrong with her. She’s shackled in some way.
Then I take a few pictures of the books and mangas she reads. I’m about to leave through the balcony when her phone vibrates on the bedside table. I stalk to her side and pause when I see the name on the text. The motherfucking non-prince. I unlock it using her passcode. She uses the same one for everything—her parents’ marriage date.
Hi, stranger. My fingers tighten on the phone, but I type back. Cecily Hi I tut at the smiley face. But if I want to make him believe it’s her, I have to mimic her style. Everything okay? Is Jeremy still bothering you? Bothering. That’s what she told him? That I was bothering her?
Everything’s great. He’s not following me anymore. Or that’s what she believes, anyway. For how long? About two weeks. That’s not long enough. He’s a dog who doesn’t give up on the bone he found, so he could and would come back at any time.
I’ll be careful. That’s my Ces. Stay safe. I mean it. My Ces. My. Ces.
It takes everything in me not to smash the phone to pieces. I delete the conversation and return it to her bedside table instead. I was going to leave quietly, but now, I’m pissed off.
her face in the pillow. I cover her neck with her hair, take one of her mangas, and jump out the window.
IM CRYING JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW WITH HER MANGA IS CRAZY
Not my fault they were flexing muscles they didn’t have. I did visit them and gave them fruit baskets and shit. Killian You sure you were in the hospital for them and not that erectile dysfunction you had? Nikolai The only erectile dysfunction is you. I told you it was a lack of fucking interest and showed you proof, motherfucker.
Kill is messing with you because you might have talked to Glyn for more than five minutes and he hates that. And stop it, Kill, otherwise, he’ll flood the group chat with dick pics to prove he doesn’t have ED. Nikolai Taking one as we speak.
Hey! Where did everyone go? Whatever. Here’s one in your honor when you come back, Jer. You know I don’t have ED, right?
LMAO
I leave the group chat before I’m bombarded with his ‘proof.’ He’s extra like that.
I suggest you don’t drink again. Why not? Do as you’re told. I thought it was only a suggestion. My suggestions are your orders. Yes, sir. Not. The fucking attitude.
You didn’t answer my question. What will happen at seven at the location you sent? What do you think will happen? Would you stop answering with questions? Would you stop being so standoffish? He did it again. He’s such a wanker, I swear. I’m not standoffish.
How did you know I was in class? I know everything about you. Are you still…stalking me? Are you still looking behind your back to search for me?
I’m not searching for you. I just want to see you so I can avoid you.
You still search for me. Did you miss the part where I want to avoid you? I only read the part where you want to see me. I don’t want to see you. Does that mean the DM from last night wasn’t meant for me?
he is my level of delulu fr
It’s not really about him. I’m shit at meeting new people and often give off the wrong vibes.
realll
There’s a reason the only friends I have are my childhood ones—and recently, Anni because she picks up on social cues fast and eradicates any type of awkwardness. I lean my chin on my palm and contemplate the pending decision I have to make. Stay. Or finally let go.
“You look so innocent, but that head of yours is a fucked-up
Why the fuck would she act so worried when she’s obviously hung up on someone else? But then again, since when do I care about that? I gave her a chance to escape me, but she didn’t take it. If I want to own her, I will. When I’m done with her, no other fucking man will be on her mind.
he used and discarded. “Did someone say my lordship’s name?” Remi jumps up beside us. “Don’t talk behind my back when you have the whole thing here.”
I’d rather preserve that energy to read my mangas all night long, thank you very much. Night.
real
She lifts her hand and I see the hit coming, but instead of stopping it, I let her slap me across the face. Tears shine in her eyes despite the scrunching of her nose to keep them at bay and hide her weakness. “You’re a monster,” she snarls. “I hate you.” “Your feelings for me have no importance.” I turn around. “Follow me or I’ll make your worst nightmare a reality.” She doesn’t. At least, at first.
He can be weirdly caring like in that club or after he carried me to the cottage, but he can also transform into a beast in a fraction of a second.
“Stalking is a crime, you know.” “Only if it’s proved.” “What?” “A stalker only becomes a criminal when he’s caught. Besides, I prefer to call it inquiring.” He cocks his head in my direction. “Eat. If I ask a third time, it won’t be with words.”
to make sure. “You like it?” I lift my head to find Jeremy swirling the contents of his glass and watching me intently, his plate barely touched. My ears heat when I realize I’ve almost finished mine. “It’s not bad,” I say all businesslike, to downplay my embarrassment. Jeremy’s lips twitch and he pushes his plate in my direction. “You can have this, too.” “I’m not that hungry.”
internally give myself. “Didn’t you ask what we’ll do after we eat? The answer is a game.” “What type of game?” “My favorite. Russian roulette.”
“Jeremy!” My voice quakes and chokes. Finally, he slides his intense gaze to me, and it’s…dead. Gone is the person who made me food and even smiled while talking earlier. A demon has taken his place and transformed him into a soulless monster, who’s hungry for
“But let’s make it truth time. We’ll ask two questions each and when the other answers, they have to shoot. It might be the last thing we say, so lying is prohibited. There are five empty shots and we’ll play four rounds. You go first.” I shake my head frantically
“How is this different from committing suicide?” “It’s not about dying. It’s about the truth.” He hands me the gun. “You have more chances of survival if you go first. I’ll ask the question.”
to escape inside your mind.” His voice hardens. “Why do you shut out the world and people who care about you to entertain your demons?”
“My…my secondary school boyfriend…uh…he tried to have sex with me, but I always told him I wasn’t ready, and he was mad about it so he…drugged me and stripped me. I was frozen on the bed as he turned my body left and right. I was screaming in my head, but no sound came out. I was calling for help, but no one heard me. All I could do was watch as he removed every piece of my clothing. I couldn’t stop him, couldn’t fight, couldn’t do anything as I lay there and smelled his putrid cologne and cigarettes. He tried to rape me, but the moment he put his thing in my mouth, I vomited all over him. He
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vulnerable state is none other than Jeremy. The devil Jeremy who forced me to tell him about a part of me I’ve kept buried for so long. The monster Jeremy who has no heart to feel what I’m voicing for the first time since it happened about two years ago.
that’s comforting in a bizarre way. His grip remains firm on the trigger and his body language doesn’t change. But then he pushes my finger. Click. My sobs echo around us as the rush of life surges through me with a ferocity I’ve never felt before. I could’ve died just now, but I didn’t. It’s like I’ve been reborn.
predator. “Why are you doing this to me?” I blurt, my voice hoarse and my nose clogged from all the crying. “Because your darkness calls to mine.
The next second, a fistful of my hair is grabbed from behind. I shriek, clutching his hand to stop him from tearing at my scalp. “Caught you.” His hotly murmured words drive me into a state of madness.
panic, he releases my hair, grasps a fistful of my jeans, and cuts them from behind. Crimson explodes on his palm from the glass and drips all over my thighs—warm, dark red, and absolutely fucked up. But he doesn’t seem to care about
“Say you wanted me that first time, not some other fucker, me
“You,” he says, then pulls the trigger. I scream.
“White-haired characters are usually my favorites in mangas and anime. They have this intelligent, wise, and reserved aura that I always loved, so I went for it. Not going to lie, it’s a pain to maintain, but it’s worth it.”
oh period
“So you love characters like yourself?” “I’m not intelligent and wise. Reserved, maybe.” “You’re the smartest and wisest person I know. Except for when you’re being a pain in the ass.”
fully expelled. “So I’m a group study now?”
lol
“Why…do you have these?” I lift my head from my phone to stare at Cecily. She’s wearing a pair of jeans and a black tee that molds against her tits. The items in question are a few mangas she probably found on the nightstand. Even as she holds them, her hands aren’t completely steady.
“Why would I buy you those if I were?” She narrows her eyes. “Why did you buy these, anyway?” “So you can read them here.” “How do you know I’ve gotten this far in all the volumes?” “I was in your room the other time, remember?” “Stalker,” she saya, but she sits down opposite me and strokes the covers of the mangas. “I know.”
HE BOUGHT HER MANGASS AW
I will find him. I will make him regret fucking with her. Cecily might be a toy, but she’s my fucking toy and no one is allowed to touch her. Hurt her. Or engrave a permanent scar inside her.
She chose me. Or did she? This could be a
erase it. In one entry, she wrote ‘Get over it, Cecily’ a hundred times, and those words were splashed with tear marks. That fucker will cry tears of blood instead. I stroke
faceless monsters. But often, I relive what happened back then, or at least, the helplessness of the situation and how desperately I wanted to stop it but couldn’t.” That motherfucker will wish for death when I get my hands on him.
