Simon Sort of Says: (Newbery Honor Book)

by Erin Bow

“Mrs. Pellnor, truly,” he says into the phone, “I don’t think a squirrel can commit blasphemy.” I stop, standing by the kitchen table with the Cheerios in one hand. “For a start,” Dad says, “blasphemy is a mortal sin, and one cannot commit a mortal sin before the age of reason, which is seven. And squirrels don’t live that long.” Behold, the confidence of a man who lives in a town with no Google. Who knows how long squirrels live? No one. Who knows the technical definition of blasphemy? My dad.

(Mom goes mostly for things with lots of preservatives, like Pop-Tarts. She says it’s pre-embalming and saves her work later.)