My Torin

by K. Webster

Once I swallow, I speak. “I don’t think he likes me.” Tyler meets my stare and gives me a crooked boyish grin. “He likes you.” He runs his palm over the back of his neck and regards me as if I’m some all-knowing oracle. “He looks at you, Casey. He fucking looks at you.”

Turning in Tyler’s arms, I look up at him and search his handsome face for clues. “What’s the catch, Ty?” His brows pinch together and I swear he looks as though he might cry. It slices my heart right open. I barely know Tyler, but I feel close to him. Two souls who need the other in some way. He reaches up and gently brushes my hair from my face. “You’re the catch, sweetheart.”

“W-What is it?” I choke out, my own emotion threatening to pull me under. He blinks away the moisture and glances my way. “He responds to you.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “It’s magical, Casey.”

“Mine,” he repeats, his hot breath warming my face. He smells like cinnamon, no doubt having just finished off one of his beloved Fireball candies. “Always mine.” Snowflakes land on my exposed flesh, but I don’t shiver because I’m warm in his embrace. More than warm. On fire. Blazing out of control. An unstoppable inferno. “My Torin,” I whisper, tilting my head up to offer him my lips. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll kiss me. Please. Please. Please. Someone bumps me from behind, stealing our moment. “There are children watching,” an older woman admonishes when she walks by. Torin and I break apart. The snow falls a little harder. This time, I’m not moved by the snow. The icy flakes send zings of discomfort stinging through me each time they land. I glance at Torin, but he’s back to business as usual, hands fisted and eyes diverted. With a sigh, I follow him. Maybe, just maybe, next time he’ll kiss me.

Me: I don’t know how to love. Tyler: Love isn’t something you can control. It controls you. Fills you up and infects every part of you until all you can do is just live and breathe it every second of every day. Me: Sounds like a disease. Tyler: Love is a cure.

“I love you, Casey. You need to hear that. I know you’ll never be mine, not like that, but you can be mine like this. Just for a little while.” Tears streak down my temples. “Just for a little while.” “I’m sorry,” she breathes against my neck. “I don’t want to fight. I love you too, Tyler.” My heart swells and I smile as I kiss her head. “Today, we’ll cry this shit out and then tomorrow, I want to spend my time with you and Torin. My family.”

“Mine.” Everything in me screams to rip away her clothes and run my tongue along every creamy curve. I know she would taste so sweet everywhere. But I don’t. All I can do is pin her to the bed and suckle on her neck. Clutch onto her wrists. Rut against her sleeping body. My cock aches. My heart aches. My fucking soul aches. Tyler would know what to do. He’d have answers. He’s gone. Gone. Gone. But the buzzing is gone too. When I’m able to breathelicktastetouchsmellfeel her, the buzzing fades away as the static soothes my being. I need her. I have her. She’s mine.

I blink at him in confusion until I remember an old conversation. “I made you laugh. You’re making good on our bet.” Thunder snorts again and makes a noise in his throat like he doesn’t like being a part of a bet. The chipper voice on his phone says, “I didn’t think I could.” He blinks over and over and over again. His normally emotionless face is confused. Then his device is talking again. “Tyler tried my entire life to make me laugh. Told unfunny jokes. Did silly things. Made stupid animal sounds. I always wished I could have laughed for him just to make him happy.” A tear rolls down his cheek, catching me by surprise. “I laughed for you.”

I can feel him typing on his phone behind my back. Then, it speaks for him. “You make me very happy.” His own words are hoarse but fierce as they rumble from his throat. “Casey-Casey, mine.” A sob catches in my throat. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss the side of his throat near his ear. “You make me very happy too.”

“Casey-Casey,” he murmurs. His lips drag across my cheek. My heart stutters in my chest because it’s so warm and affectionate. Tears spill from my lids. “I breathelicktastetouchsmellfeelneed you.” I sniffle as I squeeze him to me. “I love you too, Torin.”

“Casey-Casey.” His forehead presses to mine. My heart is twisting and bleeding. I don’t understand any of it. I just know I feel duped and confused. A choked sound rattles from my throat. “He. Loved. You.” His words come on in quick grunts. “I. Love. You.”

I smile when his nose nuzzles mine and he takes my hand. He slips something on my finger. Immediately I recognize it as my missing ring. I let out a squeal as I bring it up to look at it. It’s no longer dull and scratched up. No longer empty. It’s been shined and restored, much like he does his pennies. My ring shines and glistens. It’s the flawless rock that he’s added to it. The prongs are new and strong. They have to be to hold on to a diamond as pure and beautiful as this one. “What’s this for?” I ask, hoping it means what I think it means. He brings my hand to his heart and sears me in his gaze. “Mine.” It means exactly what I thought it means. “Yes.” My Torin smiles.