How to Fake Date Your Grumpy Boss (How to Rom-com #1)
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♥ All important meetings occur in the rain, with a clap of thunder.
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“I would never. I’ve wanted a cat forever, but my parents are against animals that shed. And also joy.”
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“Were you ogling me up until you discovered I was a minor?” Slenderman Guy clears his throat. “Not my proudest moment.”
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♥ A picture is worth a thousand words, and many of them are probably curses.
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I suppose you see up close and personal now exactly how negative rumors can get out of hand without any basis. I get to add taking advantage of young women to my repertoire. Perhaps I should make it a hobby to collect insidious titles while I’m making an effort to rule the world.”
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Levi: If I wanted to joke with you, I’d mention how I’ve been considering pet names.
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♥ If a guy takes you to a bookstore on a date, he is probably in love with you.
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“Basically, you’re saying purchasing one book for you is the gateway into turning you into a book-hoarding dragon?” “Correct.” “Good to know. Do you prefer paper or hardback?” Let it be known that Levi the freakin’ Danner has a pretty decent sense of humor, even if it’s kind of flirty and amazing, I mean. Not amazing. Inconvenient. Flirty and inconvenient. I roll my eyes. “I’m not answering that.” “Both? Plus special edition copies?” His eyes go wide in mock surprise. “And the British covers? Rose. Calm down.”
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I’m laughing and offering him a mozzarella stick—because I love them, but he says they taste like cheese pretending to be cheese. And also gym socks. It’s a perfectly innocent photo. It’s exactly the kind of pictures we want to overtake the first mistake.
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“Have I ever told you that you’re cute when you’re conjugating?” “Have I ever told you to stop flirting with me?” He breathes a laugh. “A couple times, I think. It’s not that I’m a bad listener. I just think that I would die.” “You’re as melodramatic as your recordings.” “I’d hate for your work to be boring.”
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“Why are you counting my yawns?” I mutter. “Because I have been trying to come up with a flirty remark that involves comparing your yawning to a kitten’s.”
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“Am I already that predictable?” “Reading you like I wrote the book.”
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Judge books by their covers; that’s what they’re made for. The same cannot be said about people.
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“The people looking after my kids didn’t understand when I told them they were picky eaters.” The grumble of pure annoyance doesn’t mute the words I just heard. My head jerks up off his chest, and I blurt, “Kids? You have children?” He nods, the motion curt. “Their mother left them shortly after they were born. Told me to take care of them. Didn’t even let me answer.”
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“Lasers. Eyes. Some words make me uncomfortable when they’re put together.
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I know better than most that stupid decisions lead to stupid accidents, so no. There’s not a chance I would ever touch someone if there’s a possibility it could lead to another kid growing up like I did.
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All I want for you is someone who cares half as much as I do. And voicing an opinion he knows wouldn’t go over well to people who have any sway in your life is not only cocky and somewhat stupid, it’s caring. Wherever our viewpoints differ, you found someone who cares about you. And so long as we keep seeing that with consistency, your father and I don’t have a single thing against this relationship.”
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Levi: I can see you. Levi: Help. Me. Levi: Rose. Levi: Rose, dang it. Levi: You’re a sadist. Levi: A beautiful, cruel sadist. Levi: She’s TOUCHING me. Levi: ROSE. I roll my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing as I type out my response. Rose: What’s the problem? Shut her down. Levi: You really want me to make your cousin cry? Rose: Do it.
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“I am with Rose because she’s a kind, caring, beautiful, smart woman.” Voice little more than a rough growl, Levi gives Corinne a full, nasty once-over. “Clearly,” he grits, “such virtues had dried up out of the family gene pool by the time you crawled out of the womb.”
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“You’ve lived being told what to do your whole life. Your heart longs for magic and the freedom to weave whatever you please. I’ll do whatever you want, kitten. Whatever position I have access to, however I can help, just tell me. But I think we both know you’re an author.”
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Mom looks like she wants to burn the aisles to the ground. Levi looks like he’s seeking out the next big business deal. And I’m looking like a drug addict, itching to get back on my high. I’m twitchy. My fingers want to pluck up the beautiful matte covers and weigh the blocks of dreams in my hands.
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“I love to write. And I don’t just want to write about what is. I don’t even just want to write about what could be. There isn’t a single moment I can remember where words haven’t fascinated me. I love them. And I want to paint pictures with them. And I want those pictures to make people smile. I want those pictures to encourage people to be kind. I want those pictures to inspire hope and goodness and everything you’ve taught me. Even if some parts of them aren’t going to be pieces you like or agree with.”
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In a world as vast as fiction, there will always be a story that draws a connection between souls. We just need to be brave enough to find it, open the book, and turn the first page.
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It’s honestly a tragic story. Lonely girl meets lonely boy. Neither of them understand anything about what it means to be seen. Both of them get a little lost in the way the other manages to look at them.
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Melanie says that people forget sometimes how fantasy comes from reality. Dreams do come true with enough effort. Good things can happen when there’s enough sincerity. And sometimes you actually can book trope your way to happily ever after—just as long as you’re willing to be honest about it.”
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“You make me laugh with your deadpan, inappropriate humor. And nothing feels better than when I manage to make you smile. I love being around you. You make me feel safe and okay and right. The way I see it, we either both pretend it matters that we don’t have any experience and go off to discover that no one is going to come close to sharing what we have, or we just accept that fate threw us together in the middle of a storm and was writing our story before we understood our roles. I want to learn more about you. I want to learn everything. And I want you to learn me, too.”
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“Haven’t you realized it yet, kitten? Everything I am is a love letter to you.”
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“I, Levi Danner, take beautiful, talented, and smart Rose Briars to be my lawfully wedded wife. Through the power vested in me through the fact I could buy this whole state, I pronounce us husband and wife.” He kisses my forehead. “Good enough?”
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“Please don’t make this the kind of story where we separate again to prove something to ourselves before we can be together. I hate those. The answer is always the same in the end. It was us. It was never not us. It will always be us. I’ve missed you until my heart was breaking for five years, and I didn’t even know how badly it hurt until you came back to me.”