A Timeless Love

by Shanel

Why would I ever want to make the prettiest girl in the world frown instead of smile?”

No matter what anyone said, something deep in my gut told me that this trip home wasn’t going to end like I thought.

I did my best to respect her just because of the title she held.

“Well, every man that comes into your life, you find something wrong with him. I told you that the last dude was straight.” Shaking my head, I stuffed my mouth full of food and swallowed. “No, he chewed with his mouth open, and he ate breakfast before brushing his teeth. That’s just weird to me.”

“That’s no excuse though, Abby. You need that relationship with God. If you can’t go to Him, then who can you go to?”

“I’m going to do better.” “Do it now. Our time here is only for a little while, and I want to know that I’m going to see you again one day. You know where your help comes from, so don’t forget about the one who provides it, aight?”

“I can’t ask you to do that though. I told you that I don’t want you putting your life on hold for me.” Shaking my head, I laughed a little. “You should know better than that. You are my life, so nothing else matters right now.

Having to be strong for someone that you love was hard. It took a lot to maintain a face of bravery, especially when it wasn’t something that you truly felt.

‘Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’

“I want to start by saying that every single one of us is going to face burdens. The Bible says that if we want to reign with Him, we have to suffer with Him. Life ain’t gone be easy, and especially for a Christian. You can believe that you will see trials and tribulations, but what makes it alright is that we know a man who already saw it coming. He was already prepared for whatever was coming our way. Ain’t nothing catching him off guard, you understand what I’m saying to you?”

It’s hot as the devil’s hell out here and you running your mouth.

“Do you ever get tired? Like, is it exhausting to always have to be the strong one in the family?”

“I get tired, but the Bible says not to get weary in well doing. It’s hard though, Abigail, I won’t lie to you. I don’t want to portray that I am not worried for my son and for my wife, because I am. I’m not sure how any of this is going to play out, but if I don’t trust the Lord in this, then what have I been serving Him for?”

“I don’t wanna die, you know? I don’t wanna leave my parents. I don’t wanna leave you, but I don’t know how to fight this. I’m so damn scared.”

And just like that, we fell asleep. His head in my lap, my fingers in his scalp, and my heart wrapped up in his.

then you will have the memory of finally giving into the love that you have been holding onto for so long. You won’t have any regrets. No what-ifs or wondering of what could have been. You will know, and you will have had the chance to express what you feel for the person you can’t live without.”

time isn’t on our side, and we need to take advantage of what we have, and enjoy the people in our lives.

“You know what I’m going through, and I want it to be clear that I won’t always have good days. I’m anticipating some real bad days coming up, and if it ever becomes too much for you, then you have to tell me. I won’t let you suffer with me. If you need to walk away, then do that, Abigail. Do not tie yourself to my cancer. It’s my battle, do you understand?”

“Please, just…can we just be together? No questioning or making exceptions. Just you and I, seeing what this could be. I don’t want to beg you, Kendrick, but I feel like I’m really close to falling to my knees and asking you to let me love you.”

I know I’m not supposed to question God, and I try not to…but I just…why me? What lesson am I supposed to be learning from this? I keep asking Him, but I can’t hear Him anymore. It’s just…silent. All the time, complete silence. And the silence…it’s deafening, Abby.”

“Congratulations young people. Remember, keep God first, and I promise you will enjoy a long and happy marriage.”

I don’t think you get it. I used to dream about this, imagining you walking towards me in a white dress, your hair done all nice, and that smile…that smile that stops my heart, staring back at me. There’s no way I won’t be waiting for you to meet me at the end of the aisle on Saturday.”

but as your grandmother, it is my job to make sure you are prepared for the hard days in life…and baby, your hard days are coming.”

I knew him. He could be pissed off, but he would never disrespect his mother. He loved her too much, and not to mention, his father was sitting right there.

“I love you more than I could ever tell you, Abigail Hope Bradley. You are it for me. You’ve always been it for me,

Love was a tricky thing. It was the one thing that we all spent our entire lives searching for, never knowing where it will come from, and when it will be gone. Even with all the unknowns, nothing deters us from wanting it for ourselves.

His love, along with the love of God, carried me…and because of that, over time, I would eventually be okay.