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This life is too damn good, too beautiful, to cry over greasy boys with sloppy tongues. I didn’t grow bitter that night. I didn’t lose my faith in relationships or decide that boys simply aren’t worth my time. Rather, I learned that it’s okay to like something and then lose it. To love and then let go. Because something beautiful, something brilliant, is waiting just around the corner.
Harper’s not exactly an inconspicuous girl. She’s all sorts of shiny, bright like the blazing sun, and sugary sweet.
Luca Reynolds is in desperate need of my help. Luca Reynolds is my fake boyfriend. And I—we—have a big, ugly secret on our hands.
“What is it?” she finally asks, gazing up at me. “It’s a poker chip, from casino night at the Surfbreak,” I explain, awkwardly scratching at the back of my neck. “I found it wedged between the slats on the pier. There’s a—” “Seagull on the back,” she cuts me off, smiling wide, eyes crinkling at the corners as she flips it over. “Yeah, I don’t know.” I lick my dry lips, one shoulder lifting in a casual shrug. “I saw it and thought of you.”
I bounce on my heels, itching to throw my arms around him. But instead, I simply lay a soft hand on his shoulder, squeezing just once before he’s on his way out the door.
“He totally clams up whenever your name is even mentioned. Have you seen how red his ears get? So adorable.”
Somehow, the revelation doesn’t shock me. I like the way I feel when I’m around Luca. He’s smart, handsome, dedicated, and surprisingly funny. He loves his family with all his heart. He may be guarded, but he’s been revealing all the secret pieces that make him whole.
“I’m majoring in sports medicine. I’ve always loved the beach. And earlier, when I felt your lips press against my hair, I wish you would’ve just kissed me for real.”
“I don’t want to keep begging you, but I might just be willing to.” “You don’t need to beg me,” I murmur. “Not now, not ever.”
I want to be everything for her that she is for me—a best friend, a confidant, a source of motivation.
Bentley joins me to greet her at the front door, his tail whipping back and forth in excitement. He’s always antsy for visitors, but he’s taken a special liking to this girl in particular. It seems as though we all have.
“Harper, I’m asking if I can go down on you, because it’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about since you first asked me to kiss you. And now you’re sitting here, in my bed, wearing nothing beneath my work shirt.”
“No,” I say gruffly. “This is just how I imagined it. Me on my knees for you.”
And I have been, every day we’ve spent apart. When I first wake up, I think about the sound of his voice. When I step out into the morning light, I think about his smile. And when I go to bed at night, I think about the way his body feels, arms wrapped around me tightly. It’s an endless cycle, a dream I wish was reality.
“You know, I’ve always known what it was like to be needed by someone, from my parents to my siblings to my one hundred and eighteen fucking teammates. Being needed feels endless. Until I met you, I never knew what it was like to be the one in need,” he says, the corners of his lips hinting at a smile. “And I do need you, so fucking badly.”
When I go to pack up my shit, I check for a text from Harper first. The only thing she’s sent me today is a series of smiley face emojis sent early this morning, yet the irritation still seems to melt away at the mere sight of her name.
“It is a big deal.” He flashes me a rare, heart-stopping smile. “Baby, you are so fucking perfect that it makes my head spin.”
Learning, loving, and then losing Harper has shown me exactly what I’ve been missing out on all this time. And there’s not a shot in hell that I’m gonna let myself lose her twice. It’s the two of us from now on. Together. Always.
I kiss him back in the same place, pressing the pad of my thumb against the cursive H and the loopy, little heart I drew on this morning. Per Luca’s adamant request, it’s become part of our pregame tradition.
