Can't Say Goodbye

by Eden Finley

They can’t see that growing up in a nurturing environment where we were not only encouraged to live our truths but were pushed to explore them meant that we were free to be who we are. The world is a lot gayer than people like to think.

I can’t help the pang of longing that hits my chest when we’re curled up together with Brady between Kit and me. It’s a heartbreakingly perfect moment that will never happen again. So I hold on tighter and breathe them in to try to remember this for as long as I can.

Distance from Prescott will be good for my heart. It’s not my fault I went and fell in love with him. It’s his fault for being him.

Prescott says and holds out his arms for a hug. I don’t hesitate to run into them and wrap my hands around his back and bury my head in his shoulder. Then Kit is behind me, and I’m where I belong. Where I’ve wanted to belong since we first met. With them.

Humans can be trash, and we need to think of the internet like a landfill. It’s where all trash go to express their unwanted opinions.

“I’m sure whatever you wanted to do, you’d excel at,” I say. “Except cleaning,” Prescott says. “Don’t become a housekeeper or maid. Your definition of tidy is … not.” “Agreed,” I say. “Do anything except that.”

“Brady Francis Talon. Open this door now,” Kit says, and I know I’m in trouble. You know people are serious when they make up a middle name for you.

“I know I’m not allowed to tell your parents anything, but can I please tell Maddox? You have no idea how proud he would be of you for pulling SEALs. Damn, even I’m impressed.”

I’m in Virginia. You know how I told you about the two guys who may or may not work for top secret government stuff?” “Have they kidnapped you? Say the word ‘bananas’ if you need help.”

“There will be no wedding!” I yell. And when everyone is silent again, I look up at Prescott and then at Kit. “I told you both they’re the worst.” I let that hang in the air. My words slowly tick over in their brains, and the only ones who don’t look confused are Levi, Four, and Uncles Damon and Maddox. Then the explosion of chatter starts again. “Who’s the other guy?” “Where are you?” “What is happening?” “Why are you making me math?” That last one came from Peyton.

“This is Guy Kitchener, but everyone calls him Kit.” Kit shuffles in, and I turn the laptop on an angle so we both fit in the screen. A “Holy mother of fuck” falls from someone’s mouth, but I have no idea who says it because the screen glitches for a second. “And before you say it, yes, he’s older. By, like, a lot,” I say. “I guarantee that’s not why Freddie said that,” Uncle Soren says.

“What happened?” “Are you at the hospital?” “Is he okay?” And Uncle Maddox has to take it that one step further again by saying, “My bet is on sex injury.” “Wow,” Prescott says. “Kit earns a whole lot of expletives for his looks, and I get sex injury and sympathy.

My mouth drops. “You’re related to Jay Jackson from Radioactive?” He wasn’t on the video call. That I know for sure. “He’s just Uncle Jet to me.” I shake my head. The lead singer of one of my favorite bands is Uncle Jet. No biggie. “Okay, now I’m intimidated.” Brady climbs off me. “Don’t be. He’s a kitten.” “Fuck you too, Baby Talon,” Jay Jackson says to my boyfriend. “I’m fierce.”

I can’t believe my eyes as I watch a group of grown-ass men and one woman throw food at each other. Peyton grabs the ketchup and sprays the group like it’s a champagne bottle. “They really are crazy,” Prescott says. “In Brady’s defense, he did warn us.” “That’s true.”

“We agree with Brady,” Kit says for the both of them. My brother’s face falls. “Hey, wait, that’s not fair. He gets two obligatory votes to my one.” He turns to his partner. “What if—” Levi cuts him off. “You’re not allowed to invite a third into our relationship just to even out the numbers for when you and Brady have a disagreement.” “But—” “Not going to happen,” Levi says and shoves a fork full of food in his mouth.