Give Me Peace

by M.K. Harper

I screamed—again—the sound echoing throughout the small room and making my ears ring. I’ve never heard fear before. Never felt it become palpable. But I did that day. It was a living, breathing entity sharing the room with me. My life was normal. Not once had I been put into a situation where I felt that my safety was threatened, especially by someone in a position of power. The obliteration of that innocence hurt like hell.

In a broken, scared voice, I cried for my mom. And for that, he beat me within an inch of my life.

I always knew things would escalate. By my guess, I’d been there a year when it finally happened.

The moment his greedy hand ghosted between my legs, I think another piece of me died.

The day his thick finger finally forced its way inside of me, I sobbed for hours.

When he made me orgasm for the first time, I was horrified. It was humiliating, and I felt so betrayed by my own body. My response was natural, but it didn’t make me hate myself any less. He licked the tears from my cheeks while chuckling at my distress. It was my lowest moment to-date. Every muscle went limp, my fight and will t...

Foolishly, I thought his bigger build meant he’d move slower. I was wrong.

And now I’m paying greatly for my error in judgment.

I can’t help but think that this is it. He’s finally going to kill me, or let nature take its course and do his dirty work for him. I’ve never been left for this long, and a small part of me welcomes whatever comes next. I’m so tired—the kind that can’t be fixed with a good night’s sleep or a hot meal.

So, morbidly, I stay grateful for the things that haven’t happened, instead of mourning the things that have. It’s sick, this psychological warfare that’s been waged. The idea that I could be thankful to this man for a single thing makes my skin crawl. How fucked is it that I’m appreciative he’s yet to fully rape me? I know what the statistics say. Most girls who’ve been in captivity for as long as I have don’t make it out alive. And when they do, they aren’t really living. They’re shells of who they once were, too broken to ever function normally.

I’m scared this might be the end of the line for me, because at what point does the damage become too great? You can’t glue something back together when you don’t have all the pieces. And that’s exactly what he’s done—slowly stolen parts of me so that I’m impossible to repair.

This is Saylor, not Elira. My sister never even made it to a hospital.

“Is this about our two brothers from another mother, who bailed in the middle of the night without so much as a kiss goodbye? You know those two are connected at the dick and can’t go anywhere without the other.” Kash flops down, his own chair just a few feet from mine. We have no room to talk about co-dependency. I almost laugh, but manage to bite it back. It’s true, Loch and Ro are close as fuck, but I feel no jealously over that. As much as I love them like brothers, Kash and I will always be closer, so I understand how the shit they’ve gone through has made their bond as tight as it is. I’m not even annoyed that they left without giving us a heads up. More like insulted that they thought we didn’t know the second they went out the door. Tech is our expertise, including the multitude of security cameras that case the perimeter of the house. It’s like they forget we have them. I got the alert as soon as the garage opened.

promise to finally stand up to my playground nemesis, Havok McKade, whose parents must have had a sixth sense when naming him.

“I’m scared to sleep. What if this is all a dream?” I speak my fears quietly, but Lochlan hears me. “It’s not a dream, sweetheart. Put your hand in mine, and anytime you need to remind yourself of where you are, you squeeze as hard as you need to.” He lays his palm on the bed, facing up, and waits patiently for me to decide if I want to take it. I bite my lip, wondering if that’s something I should try and push so quickly. I haven’t touched another person, or been touched without the accompaniment of pain, in so long. My hand shakes with nerves, but I slowly slide it into Lochlan’s, until the heat of his skin is warming my own. “Sleep, Saylor.” His whispered command barely breaches my mind before I fade away.

“Krew, I swear to Martha Stewart, goddess of all things sweet and decadent, if you don’t get that spawn of Godzilla out of here, I’m disowning you. We might have shared a womb, but you’ll be dead to me. DEAD!”

With a deep, fortifying breath, I raise my head and glance in the mirror. It’s the first time I’ve seen my own reflection since I was fourteen. I’ve been too nervous to look.

“Let me expand upon that. My phobia actually lies with all things that aren’t snuggly. You got a spider that needs to be squashed? I am not your man. If you see a snake, pretend you didn’t and never, ever tell me about it. If it’s an insect of any kind, I can offer you some bug spray, but that’s about it. I will, however, bake you some kickass cupcakes.” I spread my arms, wiggling my fingers as if to say, ‘I’m a catch, huh?’. “That’s…” Saylor pauses, contemplating her next words as she nibbles on her bottom lip. “That’s okay. I can squash your spiders. And snakes? Never heard of ‘em. Folklore, I’m sure. As for the bugs, we’ll get a zapper, and if that doesn’t work, you can hold the hairspray while I strike the match.” I think I just fell in love. Not in a sexual way. God, that’s…not something Saylor’s ready for just yet. But I’m ass over teakettle for who she is as a person. That’s the purest fucking thing anyone’s ever said to me, and I think she actually means it. Saylor’s the kind of loyal that would risk life and limb to flame roast bugs with me. And if I’m anywhere near that catastrophe waiting to happen, you can bet your ass it’ll involve bodily harm. In other words, she’s a fucking keeper. “Deal.” I clear my throat of emotion, holding out my hand for her to shake.

This shouldn’t be happening like this. We were dumb as shit to not sit her down as soon as they got here so we could explain everything. When the door finally opens, we’ve formed a wall in front of Saylor, but it’ll mean jack shit to Kade. He’d tear his own arm off to reach her, so there’s no telling what the scrappy fucker will do to us.

Saylor’s eyes had filled with tears, those crystal orbs betraying her as she fought tooth and nail to appear unaffected. The things I’d said, on the front lawn of the school with everyone watching, will haunt me for the rest of my life. She’d embarrassed me, so I was ruthless with my words. I let her walk away, knowing she missed her bus, and I can never take that back. That’s the last time anyone saw Saylor.

With my eyes closed, my thoughts turn to the thing I’ve been avoiding for the past hour. Or person, I should say. Havok McKade. I don’t understand how or why he’s here, but it’s obvious he knows the men I’m now living with. That he’s a part of this group they’ve created. It makes no sense, and he’s the last person in the world I imagined I’d ever see again.

“Thank you for the food,” I voice softly as he turns to walk away. “Goodnight, Krew.” “Night, Tink,” he calls over his shoulder, disappearing down the hallway a second later.

and I knew there and then, no matter what it takes, I’ll make her forgive me. I’ll fix the pieces I broke, because there won’t be a day between now and the one I die that’s spent without her. Her and I, we’re tethered for life, whether she realizes it or not.

Devastation like that, the sort that tips your world on its axis and changes who you are on a fundamental level, gives no warning. Those particular ruinations like to blindside you.

Kash isn’t like the other guys. He jokes and fucks off because he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be anything more than that. He sure as shit doesn’t put himself out there with women. My twin has this idea that he’s somehow less because he has issues, like his misguided perception of being weak and dependency of me, just to name a few.

And where the hell will that leave Kash now that the stupid fucker has went and attached himself to her like a damn leech? Fucked, that’s where. Right up the ass by a horse-sized dildo. Lube not included.

It also doesn’t escape my notice that Kade seems completely unfazed by Saylor using his first name.

“You can do whatever you want, Say,” Kade tells her. “Pay for school. Buy a car. Donate it, for all I care. You’ll be taken care of, regardless. Long after that bank account is empty.” Smooth-talking fucker.

Saylor turns to look at me. Her steps are hesitant, but she slowly closes the space between us. Reaching out, she takes my hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. A goddamn lightning strike would’ve been preferable to the reaction it causes inside of me. My brain is screaming ‘Abort!’ but my body has other plans because my fingers force their way between hers until they’re twined together. “You’re welcome, Tink.” And down goes another one.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful sight than Havok McKade grinning without a care in the world. He looks so genuinely happy it makes my chest ache.

“Got a little drool, pretty girl.” Havok swipes his thumb across my bottom lip, a devilish grin on his face. Oh God, if there was ever a good time for a sinkhole to randomly open up and suck me down, this would be it.

“We’re backed into a corner, Ro. We’ve got a shit choice, or an even shittier one. And the latter will likely result in the woman we’re all falling for being taken again. Or worse.” I give him a hard look, rolling my eyes at the choking sound Krew makes. “Let’s cut the crap and stop pretending like every damn one of us isn’t feeling something we shouldn’t be for Saylor. I won’t act on it, and neither should any of you, but if the day ever comes that she initiates or gives me so much as an inkling that she feels the same way, all bets are off.”

“That doesn’t make her yours, dickhead,” I growl. “No, it doesn't. But I’m sure as fuck hers.”

“Hey,” Krew gripes, spinning my chair to face his. “Stop stressing over how we choose to spend our money. If I want to buy you a goddamn pony, I will.” He narrows his eyes, begging me to argue. “Will you put a sparkly cone on its head so I can call it a unicorn?” I ask him, my face a complete mask of seriousness. He snorts, shaking his head at me.

I tell them I’m fine. And I am. I just need to gain some perspective and lower my expectations. They don’t owe me their undying loyalty or friendship. If we keep in touch once I’m no longer living here, that’s great. But they have established lives, and I’m starting from scratch. I’d never hold it against them if we lost touch.

“We just swapped spit, sweetness. Congrats, your best friend status has been upgraded.” His breath is hot against my ear, but chills erupt in the wake of his words. At the promise in his voice. Kash pulls back, a slow, satisfied smirk stretched across his face. And then he boops my nose.

Clearly, the talk Krew and I had was effective. Though I’m kinda second-guessing my reasoning for finding it necessary to have him pull his head from his ass. I just added another competitor to the already overflowing pool of prospects. Loch says something to Saylor, making her laugh. I’m at a serious disadvantage experience-wise, but I won’t let that get in the way. I’m going to woo the shit out of that girl. I smile at the thought, skipping my happy ass across the room so I can make her dance with me.

She has no idea what she means to me, and it fucking terrifies me that I could lose her. Not just to Liam, but to one of my brothers. I’m not sure I’d survive that.

He kisses my forehead and saunters off, like he didn’t just short-circuit my brain.

Their weapons of choice are more sparking fire sticks, which seems about right for these men. They hop around the beach, cussing every time one of them gets burned, but I just close my eyes and listen to the chaos surrounding me. It’s perfect.

“Don’t fight me, Tink. You can go back to being mad tomorrow, but there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to leave you in here to suffer when I know you sleep better with one of us next to you.”

Yeah, I’ve definitely drank the damn Kool-Aid.

“We aren’t the enemy, Tink.” I press a kiss to her cheek, relishing the shocked inhale it earns me.

“Can I kiss you, Saylor? Please say I can kiss you,” Kash pleads, the need in his voice rendering me speechless. Like my body has a mind of its own, I nod. It’s slight and barely discernable, but he homes in on the action like it’s the answer to all he’ll ever need to know from this point forward. Kash licks his lips, drawing my eyes to his mouth. He exhales, a relieved smile making a quick appearance, then slowly, his hands cup my cheeks, the warmth of his skin serving as a balm to the anxiety threatening to overwhelm me. I forget how to breathe the second our lips brush.

Holy shit, I just had my first kiss.

“Careful.” He crowds me against the SUV I was brought here in. “Biting is a kink I’m completely on board with.” His smile is predatory, and not for the first time today, I feel like an inexperienced little girl.

“Havok…” I start, but he cuts me off. “We’re just going up and down the driveway, Say, so don’t give me any shit.” He folds his arms and spreads his feet apart, readying himself to fight me on it. “You’re not going to fuck anything up on a half-mile stretch of gravel.” Don’t start counting those chickens, buddy.

This connection between the six of us will need to be addressed at some point, but not today.

I want all of Saylor’s truths, and I hope like fuck she’ll give them to me.

“Look!” I wave my practice target at Kash. “If you ever need me as backup…you’re totally screwed.” I grin, handing him the sheet so he can get a closer look. Kash nods, trying to play up my utter lack of skill because he’s nice like that. “It’s…something, sweetness.”