Give Me Peace

by M.K. Harper

“Krew, I swear to Martha Stewart, goddess of all things sweet and decadent, if you don’t get that spawn of Godzilla out of here, I’m disowning you. We might have shared a womb, but you’ll be dead to me. DEAD!”

“Let me expand upon that. My phobia actually lies with all things that aren’t snuggly. You got a spider that needs to be squashed? I am not your man. If you see a snake, pretend you didn’t and never, ever tell me about it. If it’s an insect of any kind, I can offer you some bug spray, but that’s about it. I will, however, bake you some kickass cupcakes.”

“That’s…” Saylor pauses, contemplating her next words as she nibbles on her bottom lip. “That’s okay. I can squash your spiders. And snakes? Never heard of ‘em. Folklore, I’m sure. As for the bugs, we’ll get a zapper, and if that doesn’t work, you can hold the hairspray while I strike the match.”