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“Who is Hannah and why is her phone number on my drink, asking for me to call her? Is this related to why your girlfriend isn’t joining us tonight?”
But mostly, she wishes that Hannah could look in the mirror every day and see that she shines as bright as the moon and has twice the gravitational pull.
“You’re going to be so fucked, and not in any fun way.”
Hannah is so very much like a sunset – with all of the layers that make her who she is, every single one of them different and absolutely beautiful, but sometimes concealing what else is in the sky – Caroline can’t quite read all of the emotions under that vulnerability.
She didn’t mean to fall in love with Hannah at all. But here she is, curled up with a family that isn’t quite hers, and she’s never wanted anything more. So. Fucked.
“Caroline may have been my best, though. Definitely up there in my top three.”
She kind of still can’t believe she’d essentially had in-person phone sex with Hannah, because it sounds extremely unlike what she would ever intend to do in the sober light of day.
“God, baby, what happened?
“If you think for one single second that I’m leaving you alone like this, you’re insane.”
“This is just what I was afraid of! As soon as you knew –”
It sticks in her mind, a new mystery. What was Hannah afraid of? And what in the world does she think Caroline knows?
Before she can say anything else, Hannah’s mouth is on hers.
Hannah is attracted to her, and that is the best birthday gift she’s ever received.
“For the record, I’m wearing the Suffolk law shirt you forgot here once. And my underwear. Goodnight.”
“I could get so lost in you if I’m not careful.”
“I’m letting you guide us. I don’t want to… push you.” She’s trying so hard not to cross any boundaries, even though with every single day that goes by, she wants more. Hannah leans back against the door, her tongue sliding slowly over her bottom lip, and Caroline’s eyes trail after it, hungrily, before snapping to Hannah’s. “Push me,” she rasps.
“That night. At the lake house. I went to the bathroom and I touched myself.”
“I want you and Abbie, every day. I want everything with you and that’s… a lot. I know,” she admits, the weight of it crushing. “I’m not asking for everything right now. I’m not asking for you to… to love me, to take a leap with me. I only want that when you’re ready. I’m just asking to know that you are really in this.”
Fuck the holidays. They really are out to get her.
I love her body. I can’t stop staring. I get it. The curve of her waist. The fullness of her breasts. Her hands. I just, get it. Desire. True, sheer desire.
Abbie squeals, the sound of excited triumph. “I did it!”
Caroline might believe in Christmas magic. Just a bit.
