Starter Villain

by John Scalzi

I have to say I was especially taken with the basket arrangement of lavender daisy poms, mums, white roses, snapdragons and Monte Cassino, with the words “Suck it, motherfucker” lovingly engraved onto the base of its gorgeously ornate vase.

“Your uncle appears to have provoked passionate responses in his acquaintances,” Chesterfield said. “I appreciate how you chose the nicest possible way to say that they hated his guts,” I said.

“A stupid villain threatens, Charlie. A smarter villain offers a service.”

“So we’re like Spotify, but for evil.” “We’re much less evil than Spotify. We actually pay a living wage to the people whose work we’re selling.”