The Wrong Bride (The Windsors, #1)

by Catharina Maura

I carry Raven into the house, my heart aching as I walk toward the living room with her in my arms. I can feel her gaze on me, but I can’t bear facing her. She has no idea how many times I’ve imagined carrying in her sister this way…but if I want to do right by her, I need to ensure she’s never reminded of that.

“I don’t know, Ares. It sounds an awful lot like you’re asking me to pretend to be your wife for three years, until you can divorce me and go back to my sister. It’s all super convenient for you two, isn’t it? Hannah runs away, so she doesn’t have to suffer through the limitations this marriage would impose on her career, and for the next three years, she gets to focus on that career while I’m trapped in this marriage with you. Are you really going to take three years of my life and sacrifice them for Hannah?”

Everything about today kills me. She just became my wife, yet the distance between us has never been greater.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, steeling myself before I look up at him. “But you should know that I don’t want her hand-me-downs. I don’t want to be surrounded by the remains of your relationship with her. Our marriage might not be a conventional one, but I’d still like to ask you for a basic level of respect. I won’t live in her shadow throughout our entire marriage.”

I nod and look away, my heart aching. I wish I could tell him the full truth—that I don’t want to be reminded of how much he loves her, of the life he expected to build with her. I wish I could tell him to look at me and truly see me, just once.

Even the dress I’m wearing tonight isn’t mine. I designed this for Hannah. It’s almost as though I’m stealing everything that used to be hers, and it doesn’t feel right.

I once told one of my close friends that if I ever thought I had a chance with the man I love, I’d give it my all, and I’d fight dirty if I had to. This is it. This is my chance.

Ares stares at me for a moment, no doubt noting my anxiety. “What do you want me to say to her?” I look down at my hands and inhale deeply before speaking. “I want you to tell her what you told me at the altar. You told me you’d give me your all, Ares. I’m asking you to keep that promise. I know how much you love her, but I won’t let you cheat on me—nor will I let you embarrass me. I demand the respect I’m due as your wife, the respect you would’ve shown Hannah if she hadn’t left you at the altar yesterday.”

“Hannah,” I say, my tone defensive. “I called you over a hundred times. I sent you text messages, left you voice notes, and I even emailed you. I tried to contact you in every single way I could think of, but you chose to ignore me. I told you that Dad threatened to pull all funding for my company if I didn’t walk down that aisle, and you still didn’t show up. You were willing to risk your future with Ares for your career, but that doesn’t mean I was willing to risk my career.” She looks between us, her eyes filled with tears. “Ares,” she says, her voice shaky. “How could you? She’s my sister, for God’s sake. This…” She looks between us, insecurity flashing through her eyes. “You two… Are you…” “No,” Ares says instantly. My heart twists painfully, but I force myself to keep my expression blank. Part of me is terrified that no matter what I do, he’ll never love me. A larger part of me knows that I’ll always regret it if I don’t try.

Brother-in-law. Part of me wants to snap at her and tell her that he’s my husband now and her brother-in-law, but I don’t have it in me to hurt her that way. Instead, I nod, unsure how to respond. I might be Ares’s wife, but I have no rights to him. Standing here in front of my sister, the woman he loves and wants to spend his life with…I can’t hurt her any more than she’s already hurting.

She turns to me then, a pleading look in her eyes. “Had it been anyone else, I’d have been insecure and scared, but I know you’ll never hurt me. You would never betray me in that way, and I know you’ll never see Ares as your husband, no matter what label the world is forcing you two to wear.”

I nod, giving in. This isn’t a battle worth fighting. Besides, Ares might be my husband for now, but he’ll end up being hers in the future. I can see it in his eyes. Even now, it’s her he’s imagining a future with. The promises he made me crumbled the second he laid eyes on her. They always have.

Hannah glances at her phone and grimaces. “I need to go,” she says reluctantly. “I’m supposed to be on set today.” Ares tenses, hearing the words she isn’t saying. If she’s expected to be on set, then she must have known long ago that she wouldn’t be on her honeymoon today. What kind of game is she playing, and how long is Ares going to let her get away with it?

He wraps his hands around my waist, his gaze filled with emotions I can’t read. He’s never looked at me this way before. “I hear you,” he says, his voice soft. “I won’t break my vows, Raven. It would be so easy to pretend that you and I aren’t married at all—that we’re just roommates, that you’re still just my fiancée’s little sister. But I won’t.”

I tighten my grip on her wrists, and she looks up at me. “Ares,” she sighs. “I’ll be honest with you, I don’t share well, and I can be quite jealous. The moment you and I got married, you became mine. I won’t be your front while you screw my sister behind my back. I don’t know what our marriage will look like, and I’m well aware that you’re in love with her, but you’re insane if you think I’m going to stand back and watch you date her.” She pulls her wrists out of my grip and takes a step back. “I want you to be happy, Ares…but not with her. Not like that. Not after what you’ve both asked of me.”

I lean back in my seat and stare at her. I’ve loved her for so many years, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s only because we forced this relationship. “You gambled, and you lost, Hannah.”

Raven and you used to hang out every once in a while, so there’s no reason we can’t do the same. No one needs to know.” I cross my arms and smile humorlessly. “Are you asking me to cheat on my wife with you? You want to be my mistress, Han?” Her eyes flash with anger. “She isn’t really your wife,” she snaps. “Besides, it’s not like Raven will mind. Or are you planning to remain celibate for three years?”

I run a hand through my hair. “I’m telling you that you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You made your choice, so you’ll live with the consequences. Maybe you and I can be together in three years, or maybe we’ll realize that our relationship was over long before you walked away. I honestly don’t know, Han. What I do know is that I’m done humoring you.” “What does that even mean?” “It means that we’re over. The moment I married Raven, you became my sister-in-law, whether you like it or not.” She stares at me, wide-eyed. “Ares, I know you’re mad, but don’t do this.” I shake my head. “I didn’t do this, Hannah. You did.”

She smiles at me and holds up the nightgown she bought me. “If you two end up sleeping together, he’ll end up falling for you. I know you think he’ll never stop loving your sister, but I call bullshit. He’s always looked at you a certain way, and there’s always been this unshakeable bond between you two. He just needs a push. Ares is a man of morals, and so long as he thinks he’s doing right by both Hannah and you by staying away, he will. Give him a reason to fold. Honestly, if you just outright tell him you want him to meet your physical needs, he’d fall as fast as a house of cards. I know he wants you. He just won’t admit it to himself.”

She clearly spent the night somewhere, and it sure as hell wasn’t here, in my bed—where she was supposed to be. “Where have you been?” I ask, my voice deceptively calm. “Ares.” She lifts her hand to her chest. “You’re up early.” I stare her down, trying to keep her from realizing how angry I am. “I asked you a question.” She frowns at me and tries to walk past me, but I grab her wrist and pull her against me. “Where. Were. You?” I snap. She glares at me. “Do you have any right to ask me that after you went for dinner with my sister? Don’t be a hypocrite.” I pull her closer, until I’ve got her body flush against mine. “I do have that right, Raven. I’m your husband.”

“You certainly don’t act like it,” she says, her voice filled with venom. “You went for dinner with Hannah a day after marrying me. Did you even come home last night, or did you just get in? Did you fuck her, Ares?” I clench my jaw as I turn us around, pushing her against the wall. “What did you just say?” I ask through gritted teeth. “Did I fuck her?”

“Home,” she repeats, her face scrunched up in disgust. “This isn’t my home,” she says, looking exhausted. “I’m not even sure it’s yours. It’s Hannah’s.” I take a step back and look around. She’s right. Nearly every single thing in here was chosen by Hannah. I let her do whatever she wanted, and I’ve never even truly loved my own home as a result. How did I never see that before? “Raven,” I say. “I meant what I said when you and I got married. I’ll do right by you, starting with a formal announcement next month.” “What?” she asks, her eyes widening. “I thought…” “You thought we’d keep our marriage a secret? We can’t. Rumors about our wedding have already started to spread. We’re much better off confirming the gossip. I refuse to sneak around with my own damn wife. Besides, do you really think Grandma would let us get away with that? If we don’t break the news, she will. This way, at least we control the narrative.”

She tenses for a moment and shakes her head. “No, it’s not that. I just…I can’t eat much. I’m a model, remember?” I push away from the kitchen counter and walk up to her, my hands wrapping around her waist, my fingers touching on either end. “Rave, you can afford to eat a little more. You’d still be the sexiest woman alive, you know?” Her eyes widen, and then she smirks. “Is that so?”

“I just… I thought it would be good to give you space. The last couple of days have been a lot for both of us. I was worried I’d make you uncomfortable. Being in each other’s personal space like that, I’m not sure. I just didn’t want to overwhelm you.” It isn’t the full truth, but it’s as close as I can give her right now. “You are,” she tells me. “You are making me uncomfortable by keeping your distance. It’s weird, and I hate it. We’ve always been friends, Ares. Why does that need to change? Surely marriage should’ve brought us closer. Do you truly hate being married to me that much?” A hint of pain flashes through her eyes, and it fucking guts me. Fuck. “What? No, Raven. What the fuck?” I wrap my hands around her waist and lift her on top of the kitchen counter with ease. She gasps and places her hands against my chest.

How do I tell her that my mind is a complete fucking mess and that I can’t figure out why I’m not more upset about the way things worked out, the way Hannah and I parted ways? I should be heartbroken, but more often than not, it isn’t even Hannah I’m thinking about—it’s Raven. I want to do right by her, and I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to clip her wings, and I can’t bear to see her smile dim. The last thing I want to do is make her feel trapped in this marriage with me. I’m terrified that she’ll come to resent me for forcing her into this.

“I’ll never be her,” she says softly. “I know that, Ares. I know I’m not the woman you want to wake up to. I know you can’t stand having me in your bed at night. I get it. I know you’re hurting. But please…please don’t distance yourself from me. If asking you to treat me as your wife is too much, then all I’ll ask for is your friendship. I miss you, Ares. What do I do? How do I make my presence more bearable for you?” “Bearable?” I repeat, confused. “Fucking hell, Cupcake.” I drop my forehead to hers and inhale deeply. She’s always smelled like vanilla cupcakes and sunshine. Many things have changed throughout the years, but not this. “I’m so fucking sorry.” I pull away to look at her. “It’s not you, baby. Your presence in my home doesn’t make me even remotely uncomfortable. It’s quite the opposite. I’m worried being around me is uncomfortable for you. I’ll be honest with you, Rave, I’m having a hard time processing everything that’s happened. It’s hard to believe that you’re my wife now, and I can’t quite figure out what that even means for us.”

My gaze drops to her lips, and I swallow hard. Fuck. She tasted so good on our wedding day, and I’ve wanted another taste ever since. How would she react if I tell her I’ve been a fucking mess because I want her and dream of her every single night? Would she think I’m a sick son of a bitch?

I stare at my phone for a moment before I reach down to take off my shoes, giving myself a moment or two. She was so different on the day I got married, and I hoped the change would last, that she finally realized the way she’s been treating me is unfair. I should’ve known better. The moment Hannah comes up, she forgets every promise she made me. Everyone always does.

“Would it kill her to do the same for me?” Mom sighs. “I’m so incredibly disappointed in you. I don’t understand how you two can both be my daughters when you’re so different. I wish you could be more like your sister.” I laugh humorlessly. “Yeah, join the club, Mom. Everyone wishes I could be Hannah, but I’m not. I’ll never be her.” I run a hand through my hair and stare up at the ceiling. “No,” Mom agrees. “You’ll never be her, but you can at least try to be half the woman she is. Call your sister, Raven.”

“Cupcake,” he says, his tone gentle. “I don’t want your pity.” I glance at him, taking in the gray sweatpants he’s wearing and the white T-shirt that showcases his muscular arms. Just looking at him hurts. I hate that I want him. I hate that I’m his wife, yet I’m the person he least wants to see. “Or is it not pity you’re offering me? Let me guess, you agree that I should call your precious Hannah, don’t you?”

It isn’t just my mother and the pain she continues to cause me. It’s everything else too. Why is it that no matter what I do, I’m never good enough? My soft sobs are drowned out by the shower’s sound, and I lean against the wall as I allow myself to feel every bit of agony that I try to keep hidden.

Why can’t I ever be anyone’s priority? What makes me so undeserving of that? Why can I never measure up against Hannah in my parents’ eyes? In Ares’s eyes? What is it that she’s got and I’ll never have? Why is my best never enough? A crushing sense of defeat weighs me down as I struggle to breathe through my sobs, choking back my tears. I may have married Ares, but he can barely stand to be around me. I’m his wife now, but the price of that title was our friendship…and I’m pretty sure it’s going to cost me a whole lot more than that in the long run. It’ll cost me my precarious relationship with Hannah and my parents too.

I turn toward her and mimic her position, keeping a bit of distance between us. “Rave,” I whisper. She tenses but doesn’t reply. Instead, she tightens her grip on our covers. Fucking hell. It kills me to know she’s hurting and that I can’t make it right. The things she just told her mother… Fuck. I had no idea I’d made her feel so unwanted.

She sniffs, and for a moment I think she’ll pull away from me, but then she turns around to face me. “Ares,” she says, her voice breaking as fresh tears fill her eyes. “I… Can I have a hug?” Fuck. The pain in her voice fucking guts me. My heart wrenches as I pull her into my arms with more force than I intended, one hand wrapping underneath her, while the other curls around her. I hug her tightly, her body flush against mine. Raven nestles her nose against my neck and inhales shakily as her arm wraps around me. Her touch is cautious, hesitant, as though she’s scared she’s asking for too much. She’s my wife, yet she hesitates to ask for a hug. Just how uncomfortable have I made her?

“Are you okay, Cupcake?” She shakes her head and balls the back of my shirt in her hand. “I don’t think so.” She sounds so fucking hurt that I’m blinded by rage for a moment. Listening to that conversation with her mother and not interfering was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’m so tempted to destroy every single thing that hurts her, but I can’t do that when it’s her mother.

“Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.” She drags her nose up my throat and shifts in my embrace, pressing her breasts against me harder. It takes all of me to keep my attention away from how she feels against me. “It’s just too much, Ares. I feel…I feel so unwanted. So unloved. I just…I feel like a failure, like no matter what I do, I won’t ever be what anyone wants me to be. Even work was a nightmare today, and I just…How could I fail so miserably? It’s one thing to fail at everything else in life, but my career is my escape. I just…Today I just really needed one single win. Just one.”

She bites down on her lip, her sorrow making way for something that looks a lot like lust. Fuck. I drop my forehead to hers in an attempt to withstand that look in her eyes, but having my lips so close to hers isn’t helping. This chemistry between us… It’s always been there, but it’s inescapable now.

“In all seriousness, Rave…I’m sorry I was one of the reasons you were upset today. I’m so fucking sorry, you have no idea.” I pause and inhale deeply, her signature cupcake scent sending my heart into overdrive. “I want you here, Raven. There is no one I’d rather have in my bed than you. No one. You may not believe that, but it’s true. From the moment I married you, you’ve had my loyalty right down to my every thought. There’s no one on my mind but you. When I look at you, all I see is my wife. Nothing else. No one else. There’s no space for anyone but you—not in my mind and not in my heart. This may all sound like pretty lies and a poor attempt to console you, and I get that, but, baby, over time you’ll realize that it’s the truth.”

She buries her hands in my hair, and I swallow hard. The way she looks at me… Yeah, she’s got my heart racing in a way it never has before. There’s so much trust and hope in her expression, and it fills me with a deep need to give her the fucking world. I never want to let her down, and from now on, I won’t. I’ve never felt something so…intense. I want her desperately, but my entire fucking heart is in it too. My need for her transcends the physical, and it’s something I’ve never experienced before.

I nod, my heart racing. I don’t think I’ve ever had a moment that felt this real. Not with anyone. But then again, for years now, the only one who’s been able to make me lose my endless patience is the woman lying underneath me, my wife. “Yeah,” I whisper. “I promise.”

“Then give me a moment of honesty, Ares. Tell me one thing no one else knows? Give me a part of you no one else has.” The edges of my lips turn up into a small smile. “You already have my last name, Raven. It’s the one thing I’ll never give to anyone else.” “Never?” I shake my head and grab her

“Never,” I promise her. The moment I married her, I knew Hannah and I were over. I never should’ve entertained the idea of divorcing Raven in three years—not unless she asks it of me. That isn’t me, and she deserves better. She looks up at me and smiles, and it fucking does something to me. I can’t quite explain it, but I’m certain I’ll always remember the way she’s looking at me right now.

I turn toward Raven when the door falls closed, barely able to contain my annoyance. “Why was he standing so close to you?” I snap. There’s a knowing look in her eyes, and she smiles at me so fucking sweetly. “I was fixing his tie for him.” “Don’t do that again,” I tell her, clenching my jaw. “The only man you’re touching is me.”

“Cupcake, there’s no need I can’t fulfill,” I promise her. My hands wrap around her thighs and I pull her flush against me, letting her feel my rapidly hardening cock. “You will not turn to anyone but me, you hear me? If you want sex, I’ll give it to you. I’ll fuck you right here on this fucking desk if you want me to. Don’t even fucking dream of being with anyone else. Am I making myself clear?”

Raven is silent as I lead her to my car, and I wonder what she’s thinking. Did I overstep with what I said to her just now? Fucking hell. Why is it that I always lose my patience with her? The mere thought of her sleeping with someone else had me seeing red, and it’s leaving me confused. I never had this issue with Hannah. I couldn’t care less how many men wanted her and simply considered it part of her job, but I can’t make that same distinction with Raven.

“Selena, Damien, meet my wife, Raven Windsor.” Raven Windsor. I love her first name paired with mine. It’s a strange thing to enjoy, but I love saying it. I thought Selena would treat Raven with the same coldness she’s always treated Hannah with, but I worried for nothing. They refused to work with Hannah, and though I could have, I never pressured them into doing it for me. I didn’t have high hopes when I called them a few days ago, assuming they’d refuse to work with Raven too, but much to my surprise, they were more than happy to do so. I’m not too sure what made them change their minds, but I suspect it has everything to do with Raven. The odd thing is that I don’t think they’ve ever met.

“We’ve got this,” he promises. “We’re going to build her a home so nice, she’ll never want to leave.” I smile at him and nod. I fucking hope so. Raven deserves the world.

I grab her hand and hold it gently. “Don’t, Rave. There’s no need to feel that way. This is your home now.” “It’s ours,” she corrects me. “I’m asking for your opinion because I want you to love our home too.”

She nods and hesitantly reaches for the collar of my pajamas. “Can we throw these out too, then?” I glance down in confusion. They’re plain blue checkered pajamas. “I know Hannah and you have matching pajamas, and maybe it’s petty and immature, but I⁠—” I get up and pull her up with me until we’re both sitting on our knees. “So take them off, Wife.”

I raise my hips and tilt my head, provoking her. She hesitates, so I grab her hands and place them at the top of my pants. “You said you wanted them gone, baby. So take it all off.”