Caged (Defiant Kings, #1)

by Bella Matthews

“Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” UNKNOWN

“Come on, Maddie . . . Ditch your class tonight. Grab a drink with me.”

“You’re in training, King. No alcohol for you.” I stretch my legs out in a V and lay my chest flat against the mat, then raise my eyes to the man standing in front of my toes. A slow, sexy grin extends across his chiseled face, and warmth spreads through me. “Oh, I can think of a few other things we could do.”

reaches over with his big palm and squeezes my hand, sending a shiver dancing down my spine. “Hey, you doing okay?” This man does not touch me . . . ever. He flirts. A lot. But he never touches, and that’s a good thing because I don’t really like to be touched. And if this is what it feels like, I definitely need us to stay in a touch-free zone. Because for a hot minute, I consider what it would be like to crawl into that bed next to him and feel his arms wrap around me. And that’s not something I do . . . ever.

“Madison, did you speak with your brother?” Scarlet asks. “He didn’t answer, and I didn’t think this was something I should leave in a text. He’d freak out.” Maddie bites down on her bottom lip, probably uncomfortable having this conversation with Scarlet, and I have to shift on this stupid, fucking bed, so she doesn’t see the insane reaction my body has every single time her teeth sink into her pouty pink lips. Madison Dixon isn’t the kind of girl you take out for a night, knowing it’s only one night. Everything about her screams she’s more than that. She’s pure. She’s sunshine.

Teasing her is fun. We flirt. We laugh. But it never goes anywhere, even if my dick seriously wishes it would. I wouldn’t have a clue how to give her what she needs. What she deserves.

“I really hate that the whole world knows my brother treats me like a baby and feels like they need to do the same if he’s not around. I’m twenty-four, Hudson, and your sister just talked to me like a teenager who needs to be told what she’s doing until her daddy comes home.” “Maddie . . . First of all, if you’ve got a daddy kink, I’ll be your daddy all day, every day.” She rolls her lips together, trying to hold back her smile, but eventually gives in to the urge. Her laughter breaks through the heavy weight of the room. “You’re a moron. You know that, right?”

“You sure, Mads?” The words trigger the internal battle I’ve had with myself for years. Maddie Dixon is my friend. And while it’s been a bit of a struggle keeping her in that box, I’ve always done it because we’re better off that way. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want more.

She’s the only woman who’s ever tempted me to want more. To think about what that would look like. To consider whether I’m capable of giving it to anyone. The only woman.

“It’s fine. But the first time you put Stepbrothers on, I’m leaving.” Her entire face brightens while everyone in the room laughs. “It’s a classic, Mads.” I hold back my smile. “What do you have against laughing?” “It’s a dumb movie, Hud.” She lifts her chin, doubling down on my favorite movie. “It’s either me or Stepbrothers.” Like there’s any fucking chance I wouldn’t choose her.

My brothers, sisters, and I are definitely codependent. We’re loud. We’re obnoxious. And we’re viciously loyal to each other. We can always count on each other to have our backs. You can also always count on them to serve you your ass when you fuck up.

My thoughts stop on a dime when the sweet scent of honey and vanilla wafts into the room. Her skin always smells like honey and vanilla. Even after she’s finished sweating through a hot yoga class, Madison Dixon smells delicious. And like a man searching for an oasis in the desert, she draws me in. I want to taste her skin. Her lips. Her fucking cunt to see if she’s as sweet as she smells.

Her flawless skin has a warm pink glow from her shower, and her long hair is damp and hanging down her back. An old Philly Kings t-shirt is slipping off one bare shoulder and hangs down to her knees, covering the top half of her bare legs, and fuck me . . . she’s got a pair of socks that look like they’re made from a sweater pulled up to her knees. I’ve got no clue why that’s so sexy. But my new goal in life might be to fuck her with those socks on. Goddamn, I’m an asshole. She’s fucking perfect, and I’m fucking screwed.

“So,” she hesitates and tucks her legs up underneath herself. “Do you get the Hallmark channel here, King?” Fuck me. It’s going to be a long night.

“Hey, Gen . . .” I tap her foot with my crutch, needing to lighten the mood. “Want to help me in the shower?” I wiggle my brows, just before her elbow jabs me again. “Eww. No.” She pushes me away. “Call one of your brothers. Hell, call my brother. I don’t want to see your junk.”

“Why don’t you like when I touch you, Madison? Is it me? Are you scared of me? Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” She closes her eyes, and damnit, I think she’s gonna cry. But that’s not Maddie. This tiny woman is stronger than that. She steps in front of me, with her eyes locked on my chest. Then with a shaky exhale, she flattens her palms over the cotton of my shirt against my pecs. I suck in a sharp breath, my hands aching to wrap around her. To hold her. To comfort her. To soak in just a little bit of her light and warmth, but I don’t. This is her show now, and she needs to be in control of it.

This is the first time in three years this woman has ever willingly initiated any kind of physical contact with me. And the jolt of electricity it sends coursing through my veins is better than any adrenaline high I’ve ever gotten. Finally, she lifts those long lashes and gives me her eyes. “It’s not you, Hudson. I know you’d never hurt me. I swear to God, I know it. It’s just . . .” She runs her teeth over her bottom lip, composing herself, then traces the ink that’s visible above my shirt. “You’ve touched me over the years, Hudson. Maybe not as much as you’ve touched everyone else, but you’ve still done it. If I was scared of you, you’d have known it, and you would have stopped.” “I’ve always wanted to touch you, Maddie.”

“Don’t hurt him, Maddie. He might seem invincible, but he’s not. He’s a really good guy, with a really big heart. Be sure of what you want before you make any decisions. Because from what I’ve seen, when the Kingstons fall, they fall hard. They love hard. And if you give him your heart, I don’t see how he could ever let it go. Because you, Mads, are incredible.” My emotion at her words gets caught in my throat. “I doubt we have to worry about me hurting Hud, D.”

Madison Dixon crawled under my skin years ago, and I’ve ignored it. She’s my friend. It’s better for her that way. It’s better for both of us that way. That’s what I’ve told myself. But I’ve always known there was something about her. Every time I’d hear her talking about another date gone wrong—and there have been a ton of fucked up dates—I always felt relief. That’s not how a friend should feel. I should want her to find someone. To be happy.

I grab my keys from the table in the hall, then turn when I hear heels tapping against the hardwood stairs. “Damn,” I breathe out, surprised I’ve got any breath left. Maddie’s freckles dance against the pretty pink flush that moves up her cheeks. “Is that a good damn?” she asks, before she spins in a circle, showing off her dress from all angles. And not a single angle disappoints. It’s a dark-blue, silky thing that kind of clings to her body without being skintight. It dips down in the front, showcasing a mouthwatering tease of her chest, with a bit of extra fabric that’s held together by tiny straps tied around her neck and trailing down her bare back.

There’s no way she’s wearing a bra, and I don’t see even a hint of a panty line on her barely covered ass. Ho-ly. Fuck. She’s trying to kill me. “It’s an excellent damn, Mads.” I clear my throat and grab my coat from the back of a chair.

“I’ve wanted you every single day since you walked into Crucible three years ago, Madison.”

I swear to God, her fucking sighs do me in. We’re spooning. Fucking spooning. Maddie might be the inexperienced one, but I wonder what she’d think if she knew I’ve never done this before. Any of this. I don’t sleep with women. We fuck. They leave. Occasionally, I leave. It’s the only way it works.

“Mmm . . . Hud?” Her sleepy voice soothes my quickly spiraling mind, and I press my lips to the top of her head. “Sleep, Mads. I’ve got you.” “Mmm . . .” She rolls over so her face is buried in my chest, and those long lashes kiss her cheeks. She’s basically asleep and probably won’t remember this in the morning, but I tuck her against me anyway and close my eyes. “I like that.” So do I, Maddie. So do I.

When an incoming FaceTime rings on my MacBook later that night, I’m surprised to see Daphne’s face on my screen but more surprised it took her so long to call. “Hey, D. What’s up?” She leans forward, and her giant, pregnant boobs almost pop out of her tank top. “Holy heck, Daphne. Put them away before they poke my eyes out.” Max steps up behind his wife and leans over her shoulder. “Blasphemy, Madison. She should never put them away. How’s my brother doing?” Daphne throws her elbow back into Max’s side. “Hush, you. Don’t go hijacking my conversation.”

“Come where?” I’m so confused. “Lock the door, Madison. Set the alarm, and let’s go to bed.” I blink at him a few times, wondering if I hit my head at some point between ending my call with Daphne and answering the door. “You don’t live here, Hudson.” Despite that, I lock the door and set the alarm, just like he ordered me to, then pad over to him. “Why are you here?”

For now, I grab the remote and turn off the light as I crawl into bed, not even bothering to act like I’m trying to stay on my side of the bed. I’m proud of myself when I embrace the urge to sit next to him and don’t revert to needing space. Hudson lifts his arm like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and I look at him, wondering what it is that makes me trust him not to hurt me. What’s different about him from every other man I’ve ever met in my life? “You gonna leave me hanging, Mads?” His smile lights up his entire face, and my heart skips a beat. I slide into him and turn the TV on as I yawn. Pretty sure I’ll never make it to the battle at the end of the movie. But that’s okay. I feel like I might actually be winning my own battle tonight.

When the alarm chimes at five a.m., I reach over, grab my phone from the nightstand, and turn it off, then roll back to my sunshine. She hasn’t cracked open an eye, but there’s a small smile tugging at her lips. “I’ve gotta go, sunshine.” “Mmm . . . do you have to?” She nuzzles her face against me. Okay, now I know she’s still asleep. I lean down and kiss her forehead, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and feel her smile grow instead of her body recoiling. I could get used to this version of Maddie. The affectionate one. The one who doesn’t pull back and shy away from me. “I’ll see you at the gym tonight.”

“What would you have done if somebody said that about Carys?” I lob back at him. And judging by the way his eye twitches at the mention of his wife, it hit the target. “You can’t fucking compare the two,” he snaps back at me. “I love my wife. Are you in love with Maddie?” Well, damn. That’s one way to slam me up against the cage. Especially since I’m not sure about the answer.

“Where are the girls?” she asks as she shoulders her gym bag. I reach out and take it from her, then open the front door. “Looks like I’m driving you home after all, sunshine.” She gets into the passenger side of my SUV and reaches over to unlock my door. “Do you ever get told no?” My arm brushes against hers as I slide behind the wheel, and a frisson of electricity courses down my spine. “Only by you, Mads.”

She takes a step toward me, then runs her hand over Mav’s back. “At some point, you’re going to love someone so much, you’ll refuse to let go.” “It’s not like I don’t want that. I just haven’t found it yet, Len.” My confession is quiet, so I don’t upset the ticking time bomb in my arms, but it’s true, nonetheless. No one has ever held my interest for more than a night or two. But even as I think that, I know it’s a lie. I’d love to have what some of my siblings have found. But I honestly didn’t know if it was in the cards for me. Not until now. I’m pretty sure my chance has been right in front of my face, and I just needed to open my damn eyes.

She washes her hands, then turns to face me. “Hud, can I use your shower? I feel gross.” “One question first, sunshine.” She lifts her stubborn chin higher and waits. “Why did you come home with me tonight?” When Maddie doesn’t answer, I clarify, “Was it really just to avoid your brother?”

She drops her hand to the front of my hoodie and hooks her fingers inside my pocket, keeping her eyes locked on mine. “No, Hudson.” Maddie’s top teeth dig into her pouty lower lip. “It wasn’t.” I slowly run my hands up her arms, waiting to see if she flinches or backs away before I gather her face in my hands. “Tell me to stop, Madison.” “Don’t stop,” she pleads, and I don’t have to be told twice. I take it slow, going against every instinct I have but unsure of what Maddie needs, and lower my lips to hers as her eyes drift shut. Softly at first. Testing. Teasing. Making sure she’s okay.

“Are you sure about this, Madison? Because once we cross this line, there’s no going back. You’ll be mine, and I won’t let you go.” I hold myself above her, refusing to let go of her eyes until she answers me. She reaches up and frames my face as her warm breath fans my jaw. “I’m already yours, Hudson. I think I have been for a while now.”

Maddie’s hands slide down my back and over my ass as she lifts her hips against me again and gasps. “What the fuck, Hudson?” “Madison . . .” I sit up, shocked at the f-bomb she just dropped. “You cursed.”

“Has anyone ever done this before, Madison?” “No,” she whimpers, and her hips press against my face. “Good. Because no one else ever will,” I growl.

I’m not sure how much time passes in the silence of the night, while I’m lost in my thoughts, before I gently press my lips to Hudson’s neck and quietly whisper, “I think I was waiting for you to fix me.” His heavy arms tighten around me. “You were never broken, Maddie. And I would have waited forever for you.”

“Scar . . . I’ve been in training for six weeks. I’m not getting out of bed on Sunday.” She doesn’t need to know I don’t plan on being alone. “Hudson Thaddeus Kingston.” Killian buries his head against my chest, like he thinks he’s the one in trouble, and Brynlee oohhhs . . . “She middle-named you, Uncle Huddy. Mommy only middle-names us when we’re in trouble.”

Quietly, I open her door and let myself in her room, then stand there, staring at my sunshine. Her golden hair is spread out on her pillow like a halo framing her gorgeous face. The moonlight streaming in through the windows illuminates long black lashes lying against her cheeks. And her hands are tucked up under her head while the rest of her is buried under a mountain of blankets. She’s an angel, and I’m the lucky son of a bitch she’s trusted with her heart.

As if sensing me, she scoots back, and I wrap my arms around her, dragging her against my chest. She wiggles into me, adjusting herself to be my little spoon, then wraps both of her arms around mine. That’s it. That’s all it takes for this woman to be safe in my arms. No hesitation. No resistance. She’s so damn welcoming when she’s sleeping, and I finally relax.

“You’re sitting with my family.” “Yeah, King. The girls and I are right behind your family.” I run my fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck. “Do you need anything?” “No, baby. You’re here, and I’m ready. That’s all I need. We’ll have to make an appearance at Kingdom afterward, then we’ll go home.” With every breath he exhales, I inhale. “You gonna win tonight for me, King?” I tease and scrape my nails lightly against his scalp. “I can be your prize.” “You’re gonna be my everything, Madison.” With a soft inhale, I lift my head and drag my shaking thumb over his bottom lip. “Then I guess you better go win this thing.”

“Why do you call me sunshine?” I counter. “Because you are, baby. You’re sunshine and warmth. Your smile, your eyes, your entire fucking being lights up every room you walk into, and you don’t even realize it. I’ve always wanted to be near you. Been drawn to you. Always wanted just a piece of your attention, so I could feel your warmth.”

“We’ll have a few hours before I need to get back to my house tonight.” His face falls. “You’re not sleeping here tonight?” “I thought I was going home.” My eyes search his face for guidance. “Hud, you’ve got to remember I’ve never done this before. This whole . . . I don’t know, relationship thing. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” “That makes two of us, Mads. We’ll figure it out together. We’ll do what feels right for us.” He runs his hands over the back of my head, and I nearly swoon, unsure if he could possibly say anything more perfect than that.

Maddie crosses the room and slides in next to me to congratulate them. And I love that she’s here for this. I stare at her for a minute. At the way the sunlight is hitting her golden hair. At her beautiful smile. At those damn freckles I want to kiss, and the dimples in her cheeks that

tell me she’s genuinely happy right now. Then it dawns on me. I don’t love that she’s here for this. I love her. The thought hits me like a sucker punch to the jaw. Holy shit. She really is it for me. It’s like my world tilts on its axis for a moment before righting itself again. She’s it. She’s the center. She’s the sun.

“You told me you loved me earlier,” I whisper. Her fingers still, and piercing blue eyes hold mine hostage. “I know what I said, and I meant it.” “I didn’t say it back.” I cup her delicate face in my hands, pushing past the anxiety at the sight of my hands on her perfect skin. “But I do, you know.” Her hands cover mine, and she turns her face to press her lips to my palms. “I love you so damn much, it scares me, baby. Because I don’t know if I’m a good enough man to keep you.”

“I love you,” she whispers.

“You own my heart, sunshine.”

“I’m not letting her go. Ever.” As the words leave my mouth, my resolve strengthens. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, Madison Dixon was always meant to be mine. “Then you need to start living again. Because right now, you’re hiding. And that’s not the Hudson Kingston I know.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, then pushes my plate back toward me. “Now eat up and get back to the gym before you get flabby and she dumps you.” I rest my hand on top of hers. “Thanks, Gen.” “Anytime.”

“Move in with me,” I blurt the words out with absolutely no couth whatsoever. Maddie startles. “What? Are you serious?” “Yeah, I am. Move in with me, Madison. Having you here feels right. This is where you’re supposed to be.” With each word I say, another piece of our puzzle clicks into place, completing the picture of the life I want. The one she deserves even if I don’t. “I want you to be the first person I see in the morning, and I want to be the last one you see at night.”