Finally Seen

by Kelly Yang

Which is why some feelings are too hard to even tell her.

Instead, I catch them and tuck them behind my cheek. Lao Lao says that’s the way to succeed in China.

But the thing about some feelings is… they just won’t go away. Instead, they form

a tight ball at the base of my throat. Where they sit and they wait, planning their escape from the thread. And one day, just when you least expect it, they shoot out like a rocket.

To be able to buy any kind of Frappuccino you want. To have a nice home and fill your bed with a lot of pillows, like you have a thousand heads.

To say I love you, all the time, to your family. And not be embarrassed.

A professor of mine once told me a mistake is progress you can’t see. Every time you make a mistake, you’re learning. You’re growing. And if you want to find a new path, you’ve got to be willing to make lots of mistakes.”

like the feeling of connecting with Mrs. Hollins over our joint experience. I guess that’s the power of books.

I feel my whole body relax at being understood. A great book says all the words for you that you’ve been holding in, all sewn up inside.

I think about the big bulletin board in our library, declaring BOOKS ARE SLIDING DOORS AND MIRRORS. For so long, I thought I was all alone. Lao Lao was the only door that ever stayed open for me. Her world view was my world view. But now with these books,

I’m starting to unlock many more… and I realize I have a lot more in common with other people than I thought.

“I don’t know answers. But I know I am not alone in these questions. Cat Wang also have same questions. She make me feel less alone,” I tell the board. “This why I need this book. Because my life more like Flea Shop than Simpsons. For me, this book is mirror. For other kids, it is sliding door.” I turn to the audience. “A door to see real life.”