That’s what I craved—a guy willing to pursue me despite my hang-ups, my past, my mistakes, and my own misgivings about him. Of course, when my Hollywood desires became clear to me, I saw how ridiculous they were. What flesh-and-blood man was ever going to immediately recognize the inner beauty and value in me, then make the effort to machete his way through the thorny thickets of insecurities and defense mechanisms surrounding my heart? And if such a man somehow existed, how long was I supposed to wait until our paths crossed? The odds against it coming to fruition had to be astronomical,
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This reminds me of Bell Hooks “cynicism is the great mask of the disappointed and betrayed heart”
