The Starburst Effect

by Kelly Oram

I’ve got to keep it together at home for my brother, but Zoey won’t care if I break. She’ll simply pick up the pieces and put me back together.

“How can there be so much damage from one hit to his head?” “We call it the starburst effect,” the doctor says. “What’s the starburst effect?” “Picture it like this. Imagine someone hit a car windshield with a baseball bat. There would be a concentrated area of damage where the bat hit the glass, but then shooting out in every direction, like a starburst, would be a whole web of cracks. It worked the same way with Noah’s brain. There’s severe damage where his brain hit his skull, but webbing out from that are hundreds of tiny tears in the tissue. Those tears make it impossible to know the extent of the damage he suffered or how that damage will present itself.”

He swallows hard and brings my hand to his lips. My breath catches. “I’m so sorry, Lily.” He’s apologized before, but this feels different. This is him truly repenting. It’s him acknowledging his indiscretions and begging for redemption. It’s so earnest and desperate that I’m almost moved to tears. “I forgive you,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. Noah sniffles and suddenly crushes me to his chest. He squeezes so tightly I can hardly breathe. I let him hold me. He needs this, and to be honest, I need this, too. I’d already forgiven him since he wasn’t the same guy, but it was more like I let him off the hook because he didn’t understand. But he does understand. Maybe he can’t remember everything, but he knows enough about his life before his accident to feel such deep regret. Yes, he understands, and he’s sorry. Genuinely sorry. It’s enough for me to let it all go. Everything in the past is wiped clean. I don’t care anymore. He’s sorry and he’s changed, and now that I know that change was a conscious effort on his part, it means so much more to me.

One meaningful relationship is better than a hundred fake ones.