Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

by Steve Magness

Instead, real toughness is experiencing discomfort or distress, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action.

Those who failed often chose goals that were imposed on them by a parent, coach, or society in general. For those who were successful, goals came from within, reflecting who they were and what they cared about.