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It didn’t matter how many places I’d been, none of them smelled quite like this—a blend of pine and fresh water and something unique to Cedar Ridge.
Is it....dare i say.....cedar
It wasn’t that I thought Holt was malicious. I knew him too well for that. It was that our love hadn’t been enough. I had always thought it was a force that could move mountains. But at the end of the day, he had been able to leave with nothing more than a letter slipped under my door.
Maybe because I’d seen the hollow look in his eyes, the one that told me he’d turned something off within himself. I knew how that went. You thought you’d pay any price if you could just make the pain stop. But when you turned off the pain, you turned off the pleasure. You couldn’t appreciate the way the moon glimmered on the lake. Or how a piece of chocolate tasted as it melted on your tongue. You missed the joy of friends wrapping you in so much love you thought you might drown in it.
I’d already concluded a long time ago that I would never love someone the way I’d loved Wren—the way I still loved her. Because it didn’t matter if it had been ten days or ten years. A love like that ruined you for all others.
“It’ll hurt so much more if you touch me.” Tears streamed down her face as she struggled for breath. “I can’t. I thought I could, but I can’t. I can’t see what we could’ve had. I can’t watch you move back here, fall in love with another woman, and give her all my dreams. I can’t.” My eyes burned as if someone had poured a bucket of acid over my head. “Cricket.” Her nickname only made Wren cry harder. “Don’t. I know I wasn’t enough, but I can’t be reminded of that every day. I can’t do it.”
“Five minutes difference and I would’ve been there.” Wren leapt to her feet, green fire burning in her hazel eyes. “I don’t give a damn about the five minutes you missed that night. I give a damn about the last ten years you threw away.”
“Holt, you two have a shot to find your way. But you’ll kill that if you come in after being gone for a decade and start trying to boss her around.”
Foster Madden get out your notebook
Someone swung my chair around. I couldn’t make out the face, only a blurry form. It was the scent that told me everything. Pine with a hint of spice. I didn’t think, I simply threw myself at Holt. His arms wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if I was crying or simply shaking but Holt was my anchor. The only way I could stay in the here and now. He held me, and he didn’t let go.
“I’m pretty sure you answered me on that sat phone in the middle of an op in Afghanistan. I heard gunfire. But there you were, asking if I was okay.” Nash pulled into a makeshift parking spot and leveled me with a stare. “You’ve got a messed-up idea of what kind of man you are.”
“I’m not saying you’re perfect or that you haven’t hurt people. Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to have you home more. But you aren’t a bad person, Holt. You’ve always had a heart of gold. So much so that you put way too much on your shoulders.”
Then one guttural sob pierced the air, and my chest cracked right along with it. Another sounded, a third on its heels. There was a brokenness to the noise that I’d never heard in all my life. A brokenness that had been living in Wren since that day ten years ago. A brokenness I’d left her alone in.
“I’ve got you.” I felt the words against my skin as much as I heard them, a gentle brand that sliced to my very core. “Do you?” I choked out, my voice raw. Holt held me tighter against him. “I’m so sorry, Cricket. You’ll never know how much. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I need you.” They were the hardest three words I’d ever said. Terrifying and painful, yet full of hope.
“Trust me, Holt. Trust me to know my mind. To know what I need.”
Whispers in the air all around us. Whispers of him. Of us. Of the past. Of the present. Of forever.
I laughed. I wasn’t holding back on any of those chuckles. Not when Wren had been missing the sound.
The husky appeared at the sound of her name, panting around a bone. Wren arched a brow. “I’m not the only one being spoiled, I see.” “Gotta work on both my girls.”
“Do you think whoever this is will come after me?” My chest constricted in a vicious squeeze. “It’s a possibility.” One I wasn’t about to let come to fruition. “I won’t go anywhere alone.”
Look at that, a girl who makes a smart choice about her safety
Wren swallowed as she looked up at me. “I’ll keep it for a little while.” But it would be longer than that. Because even when she was safe and placed it back in my hands, I would still be here. And sooner or later, she would believe that forever was just a lifetime of a little whiles.
“Sometimes, the world doesn’t have the right to your feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re hiding. Just that some emotions are only for the people you trust most.”
But when his gaze caught on our hands, his mouth curved. He was polite enough not to say anything, though. Nash was not. “Holy shit.” Nash let out a hoot from the couch. “It’s a Christmas miracle in the middle of spring.” “Nash…” Holt warned. “What?” Nash asked with mock innocence. “I can’t be happy for my brother?” “You are welcome to your happiness, but you are not welcome to give Wren a hard time.” Nash’s gaze went from Holt to me, a devilish grin playing on his lips. “Little Williams, you don’t look too rested. Could someone have kept you up all—?” Lawson threw a pen at Nash. “Ow! That was
...more
Already on pins and needles for Nash's book I love him
“It’s not about me. You didn’t see her, Holt. I’m not trying to be an ass, but you need to know. You wrecked that girl. And I’m worried you’re gonna do the same thing all over again if things get too hard.”
“What makes you think you deserve her now?” “Oh, I don’t. There’s no question. She deserves so much better than me. But I’m going to do everything I can to be that man.”
Lucille laughed. “Oh, girl. You are so screwed. I just hope it’s in a fun way.” “You and me both,”
“I’ve got plenty of money, Wren. It’s just sitting there. Why not use it here?” “Because it’s not your house. It’s mine. Gran gave me the money for a down payment, but I worked my butt off to get approved for the loan. And I work my butt off to pay the mortgage every month. That’s important to me. I have a place that I earned. That’s mine.” Hurt flashed in Holt’s eyes but he covered it quickly. “Okay. No garage.”
Jess from Coppersmith Farmhouse TAKE FUCKING NOTES this is how real men act
When life hit hard, you were the only person I wanted, the only place I wanted to be. You, more than anything, were home.”
It was the one thing I hated about living in a small town, we missed out on all that food.
Same, girl
“You’re staring, Cricket.” The corner of my mouth lifted. “You’re nice to look at.”
“Are you with me?” “With. You.”
“When are you going to realize that you deserve so much better than me?” The pain in Holt’s voice tore at me with tooth and nail. Tears gathered in my eyes. “How can’t you see what an amazing man you are? It doesn’t matter what I deserve or don’t because I want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. So let me make up my own mind. Don’t steal my choice from me.”
“Are you with me?” “I’m always with you.”
“Love you, Cricket. Every day. Every minute. Come back to me.”
I’m with you, Wren. Always and forever.
