light—when a child is near her parent, the ball of light shines on her, giving her a feeling of security that allows her to explore, play, and grow. As our kids get older, we hope that the light doesn’t just shine on them in their parents’ presence, but that it shines in them even when they are separated from their parents—that it has actually entered a child’s body and become her own. The concept of internalization helps us understand what kids need to separate successfully; kids literally have to “take in” something from a parent so they can hold on to the good feelings of the relationship
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