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I don’t always fuck a man before I kill him, but when I do, I find there’s one thing they all have in common. They’re disappointing.
Intimacy can be a touch between two lovers. Or it can be the kiss of a spider’s fangs in the body of a fly.
“Yes. I apologize. I saw your door was open and thought you might like to get started now. If it’s inconvenient, I can leave.” “No, no.” God no. But also yes. But mostly no. “Please, have a seat, Ms. Brooks.”
“If you’re worried about a nasty breakup resulting in the reputation of “Kinky Kaplan” spreading around campus, don’t be.”
“What the fuck?”
“What? It’s not that hard to figure out. There’s gotta be some reason you hardly ever date women in the same city as you, let alone the same campus,”
“Plus I totally saw your bed last week when you got me to take Duke out for a walk.” “Fletcher.” “There’s nothing wrong with you for liking things a little spicy, Kap...
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It takes me that long moment to realize that I didn’t actually respond to her statement, what can she do for me. Bria gives no shits about my apology, and she has no desire to waste words on it. I actually find that…refreshing.
You must not let the circumstances around you dictate your success. Turn that which you fear into your armor, Bria, and it will protect you.
God might be blind to me, but the Devil isn’t, and now that I’ve embraced my demon, he’s given me a gift. A chance to be who I was always meant to be.
“I love you,” I say, “but I also hate you in the most comprehensive, all-consuming way.”
rage. I’ve never wanted to drag someone into the fire with me, to let the heat of it conquer and consume us both. Not like this.
“Maybe I want to taste all that ferocity. Straight from the source.”
“Is that what you thought poison would taste like?”
“No,”
“It tastes one hundred times sweeter.”
“Then fuck me, Dr. Kaplan. Fuck me like you despise me as much as I hate you.”
“Do you always get this wet for people you hate?”
“Funny. It doesn’t taste like hate. It tastes like lies.”
“But don’t worry,”
“I’ll still fuck you like it’s the truth, even if I know it’s not.”
“Shh, Ms. Brooks. You’ll scream for me, but not this time.”
“Say my name with the last of your breath,”
We stay like this for a long moment, and he doesn’t ask if I’m okay. I’m glad for that. I think it would feel less real if he did. A beast feels no guilt for what it takes. It doesn’t doubt itself, or ask for forgiveness. I told him what to take and he took it, without hesitation or apology. And I don’t feel like I lost something in this moment. I feel empowered by letting go of my control.
He drops the woollen shell and kneels before me, balling the fabric in his hand and starting to clean away the mess gathered at the apex of my thighs.
“Get on the desk, Ms. Brooks.”
“Ms. Brooks,”
“Did you come here without underwear?”
“Maybe you do hate me if you’re willing to stuff my body into a little box and fuck my mouth like I’m a dirty secret you regret keeping. But you just can’t help yourself, can you?”
“You’ll be drinking my cum like it’s fucking lemonade. But I regret to inform you that you’re dead wrong about one thing,”
“I won’t hide you away because you’re my dirty secret. I’ll hide you away because I’m the only one who gets to see you on your knees, Bria.”
“Now take it like a good girl and make me come.”
“Pretend to hate me all you want, but your mouth says otherwise. I think you love the taste of my cock. You can’t wait to have my cum filling your throat.”
“Don’t forget to beg,” he whispers. “Don’t forget to make me.”
“If only you knew how badly I want to ruin you like you’ve ruined me.”
“I’m begging you to try.”
“As a feeling, for me, it’s like a warmth, even a burn in my chest, something so bright it feels like it could destroy me and I would welcome it. Sometimes it’s a desperate need to be around that person, or to care for them, or to spend time with them. Some love is calm and comforting. Or it can be a raging sea that I just want to jump into. But it’s somehow fragile too. It gets tangled up with fear. It’s a feeling I’m afraid to lose, because that warmth is like fuel. Like I could live off it. For it.”
Love is action. Love can be in the smallest details, like trying to make someone laugh, or comforting them when they suffer. It’s putting the effort in to make things right when they go awry. Love is about taking action to make the other person’s life happier or more joyful, not just once but consistently. In little ways. In big ways. Love is empowering someone, putting their well-being first. And sometimes it’s having the bravery to let go when you know you can’t.
I guess love is wanting to enrich someone else’s life, and in the process, you enrich your own.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Bria. What are you doing to me.” “Only what you’re doing to me, Dr. Kaplan,” she says with a smile that fades as quickly as it appears, leaving only heat and want in its wake. “Letting me out of my cage.”
“If you intend to keep your promise and put it in my ass, maybe I should put it in yours first. You know, dish it out before I take it.”
👁👄👁🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻
I cannot promise you a life free of pain, Sombria. But I will give you the tools to fight back.
