I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

by Baek Se-hee

I love and cherish your story. And I am your friend.

To right every wrong you come across in the world would be an impossible endeavour for any one person. You’re just one person, and you’re putting too much of the weight of the world on yourself.

I always think of myself as weak, and that everyone picks up on how weak I am. That no matter how intimidatingly I say something, they’ll see right through me. I’m afraid that people will see me as pathetic.

‘It was so much fun yesterday!’ for me to think it really was a fun time, otherwise I wouldn’t think so. I’m constantly wondering, ‘Am I boring them?’ or ‘I’m enjoying myself right now, but how are they feeling?’

Well, this is the way I am, and what can you do about it,

‘When you’re having a hard time, it’s natural to feel like you’re having the hardest time in the world. And it’s not selfish to feel that way.’

Being at home alone makes me feel depressed again. I thought about why, and I realised it was because I would look at Instagram posts of people I’m envious of. I think that makes me more depressed.

‘What matters isn’t what people say but what you like and find joy in. I hope you focus less on how you look to other people and more on fulfilling your true desires.’

You know how you think someone is very similar to you, and then as time goes by you see how different they are?

I am someone who is completely unique in this world, someone I need to take care of for the rest of my life, and therefore someone I need to help take each step forward, warmly and patiently, to allow to rest on some days and to encourage on others

‘To tell the truth, no one was looking down on me except myself.’

As soon as I think, Should I do something?, I immediately think, I don’t want to do anything at all.

Books never tire of me.