Tragic Bonds (The Bonds That Tie, #5)

by J. Bree

“Yes, Bonded.”

Are you fucking joking

You knew.

This is my second time reading I just picked that up. Mad respect for North’s dad

It's there that I find, as faint as butterfly wings against the wind, Nox’s soul.

Just a few minutes longer, and I'll get you back. We can figure this all out. Just stay with me. I know you didn't want to, but just stay with me, and we'll figure this out.

I try because I don't want him to wait until next time to figure out how we can love each other. I want to figure it out in this lifetime. I want to know everything. I want to see everything and accept whatever it is that I need to accept. I want to learn how someone like Nox Draven can be loved and accepted, and then I want to spend the rest of my life doing it.

She couldn’t hide anything from me right now, no matter how hard she tried, and all I can feel is how right she is for me. Made for me, carved from the same stone and separated to walk the earth in search of each other. All of the feelings that I’d hated my brother and best friend for having, all of them fill me at once.

The protective urge in my gut is foreign and deeply unsettling.

Oleander’s bond manifesting and tearing the souls out of everyone within a ten-mile radius is. Her entire family included.

this young girl with a spine of steel and a heart that doesn’t give up, not even when it’s been lashed and torn up by my own damage.

There’s only the heart of the girl and the god living inside her that belongs to me as surely as the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening.

HE IS SUCH A POET

I stagger to my feet and stumble towards the door, but I only make it two steps before I stop again. Without thinking too much about it or questioning myself, I move back to cleave Oleander away from Bassinger and into my arms. The warmth of her against my chest has my bond stirring in my chest, only waking enough to give its approval before it goes back into its unnatural slumber.

I need my own bedroom and my own space. And I need her there too. I’m not going to question it any longer.

“If I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have brought you with me.”

He’s guarding us both right now.

My vision blacks out a little as I attempt and fail to get oxygen into my body, until I feel hands on my cheeks, long fingers framing my face as a low voice speaks to me softly. The bed moves next to me as a large body lies down beside me, but even with my eyes open, I can’t see who’s attempting to soothe me.

“You saw every part of me, and I, you. I have no questions left, no unknowns. You can leave now if you want to, but don’t go for my sake because… I’d rather have you in here.”

It’s then that I see, more clearly than ever, that no matter how much Nox Draven has hated me in the past, no matter how much he might still resent me now even despite himself, that the person he hates the most is himself.

Recovery isn't about wiping the board clean. Recovery is learning how to function around all of the scars and open wounds inside of us.

but even then, I knew that they wouldn't hurt me, just that they wanted me to stop.

😫😫😫

“You need the others to stop coddling you. You need your bond to be let out to its full potential, because you’re still letting your fears of what we’ll all think of you get in the way.”

My bond pushes at my mind, desperate to take control and demand things from him, but I push it back, a feat more difficult than keeping my own mouth shut. Nox sees it all though, sees the battle I fight with it. When I win, he smirks at me, just a hint of pride in his eyes that I’m playing by his rules.

There’s obsession in his eyes, a dark and twisted sort of love as they both take what they want from me.

They both want to fuck me.

🥵

It’s as though they’re both marking me as theirs, testing me and the limits of what I’ll give them, but I’ve already decided there is no limit.

“Mine, this is all mine.

but when his fingers curl around my chin to turn my face up to kiss me finally, I know it’s him in there. It’s Nox at the helm

“Not even death can keep us apart. Every part of you belongs to me, and I will tear any man apart who dares to get in my way. Bond or not.”

He’s still the same vicious and cruel man, only now he’s mine, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him, nothing I haven’t already done for him.

I think that Nox is just going to lie there in silence with me, but then his hand slips onto my cheek, pulling me closer until his lips meet mine. I know the moment that his bond interrupts and takes over, the way that the dark obsession bleeds through, and when I pull away to breathe, it murmurs, one last time, “Mine.”

I know you can do this; you can do anything you put your mind to.”

Because I had a full five minutes of knowing what life felt like without your heart beating, and I am never going to live in that world.”

“Ding ding, round one.”

🤣

I have someone who has seen all of the ugliest, darkest, and worst parts of me, and instead of hating me— continuing to hate me, even— he’s chosen to love me instead. For the first time since I was fourteen, I can breathe without the crushing weight of my guilt and the what-ifs.

A few months ago, I’d started calling around until I found where your parents’ ashes were being held.

Gryphon has brought my family home to me.

Your parents would be so proud of everything you’ve done.”

Gray looks at my Bonded as though he's going to weep with relief or possibly dedicate his life to her or something.

Love 😫

My chest warms just a little at that, knowing that even though he’s usually pretty quiet about his Bonded, he’s still just as devoted to Sage as she is to him.

I can’t right now, Bonded. Not with everyone here, because if I look at you right now, after what you did for my brother… after what he did for me… I will make an absolute fool of myself. I’m supposed to be the strong one for us all.

Jericho’s eyes flick down to stare at North’s shadow creature as though the Doberman-like creature has come from the depths of hell itself. Kinda rude considering August is the sweetest boy ever at my side, a living embodiment of North’s protective love for me.

😂 “ kind of rude”

You are different. You're the vessel I was waiting for, and now we’re going to have it all.

Jericho turns to look at me again, and Nox’s temper snaps, his hand snapping out to grab his hair and slam him face first into the table. Atlas jerks in his seat, and Gabe makes a grunting noise of shock, and maybe just a little bit of sympathy, as Jericho’s nose crunches and blood pools underneath it. “Stop. Looking. At. Her.”

That’s the difference between you and I. Once we Bonded, there was nothing that was ever going to keep Oleander away from me… not the Resistance, not the god inside her, not even death itself.

but there is a small growling noise off in the distance that has me stiffening around her protectively.

“I cannot live without you, Oleander. I won’t. I thought Nox dying was the worst thing that could’ve happened and then your heart stopped beating, and I knew that I couldn’t go on without you at my side. I love you too much to do that. It was only my bond keeping me from going after you.”

The others are nearly ready.

I’m not expecting it to be Gabe’s eyes shifting as his own bond kicks in. I’m definitely not expecting them to shift to black either.

The shouting abruptly stops before there's a soft, wispy nuzzle at my cheek. I slowly raise my head to find Azrael staring at me,

Nox sliding into the bed next to me, cautiously bundling me up into his arms until we’re twisted around each other. It’s as though he’s not quite sure of what he’s doing or if he’s doing it right. If I wasn’t already completely shattered, that would have finished the job. A low sob bubbles up out of my chest, but he just presses my face closer into his chest, the steady thump of his heartbeat under my ear a mesmerizing sound that once again gets me back to sleep.

I’m also glad I was wrong.