I didn’t know how to tell her. I didn’t know how to form the right words to explain that I didn’t want to take her virginity for the purpose of her having sex with another man, that I couldn’t bear to show her how to find pleasure, only to know it would be Shawn she really craved it from. It killed me to admit it, and I wanted so badly to push all my fucking feelings aside to give her what she needed in that moment. But I couldn’t.
