Have I Told You This Already?: Stories I Don't Want to Forget to Remember

by Lauren Graham

Sometimes we polish an experience to make facts line up more closely with feelings or exaggerate moments to make a better dinner party tale. And sometimes, mercifully, details become blurry over time, maybe because the sharp reality is too painful to carry.

There was solace in spending time with people I’d missed, but an ache over the circumstances that created that space.

I only wondered and worried about how long it was going to take. “Someday” doesn’t like to tell you when it plans to arrive.

Sometimes, mercifully, without our even asking it to, memory holds hands with fact and helps dull its edges during times when reality is too overwhelming to fully take in a joyous moment, like the birth of a child, or in a darker one, when pain is too great to comprehend, like the loss of a loved one.

It’s very useful to always have a friend who is much older and one who is much younger. The older friend will remind you what there is to look forward to and the younger friend will keep you telling your stories over again so you’ll remember not to forget them. An older friend will tell you you have plenty of time yet, and a younger friend will make you forget time altogether because when you’re with them you’ll feel, even for a moment, that you’re the exact same age.

The best defense, I’ve learned, is to be conscious of the only thing I can control: what it is I’m doing in the space between my ears.

Knowing the difference between what matters and what doesn’t is a huge thing.

Knowing what you want and being able to articulate that is important, largely because no one else has the time or desire to give a shit on their own. They want YOU to know and they want to help you get it.

When life gives you lemons, you can make lemonade, but you don’t have to.