Oblivious

by Colette Davison

He smothers my lips with his to shut me up. It’s a brief kiss but a lot more than the peck I tried to get away with earlier. “I don’t want to kiss anyone else.” “Really?” I squeak. I clear my throat and hope my normal voice comes out. “Really?”

He puts his arm around my back and rolls us, so we’re both lying on our sides, facing each other. Our sofa is nowhere near as wide as Joe’s, but somehow, we fit. It helps that our bodies are touching.

“Really,” he says, stroking my face. “So, umm, your sister was right?” “It’s looking that way.” “How did we not know?” Addy shrugs. “Maybe ...

“I don’t want things to change, Addy.” He strokes my back. “Nor do I.” I know there’s a ‘but’ coming. There has to be because we can’t exactly pretend that nothing’s happened. Everything’s changed.

Of course, I could have completely ignored her and shrugged off her theory, but I didn’t. I asked Addy to kiss me. I changed everything. I’ve potentially fucked up our entire friendship.

“But things will change,” Addy says. He puts his fingers under my chin and tips my face up. “I want to kiss you again for a start.”

“I don’t know,” Addy confesses. “I’m as confused as you are. But I know one thing.” “What’s that?” “I want to kiss you again.” He does. “And again.”

“You kiss well.” “So do you.” “But what about the rest? I’m not just confused, Addy. I’m scared.” “Of what?” “What if I don’t like the things two guys do together? What if you don’t?” He grasps my face. “Fitz.” “Yes?”

“Yes, but things are different now.” “They don’t need to be very different. Things can be exactly as they were but maybe with some kissing and falling asleep in the same bed together.”

He chuckles. “Would spending the night in the same bed be okay?” “I’ve known you for years, Addy. You’re my best friend in the whole world. I’ve loved you for well, for forever.”

“We still don’t have to rush into anything, Fitz. Let’s just do what feels right for both of us, okay?” I nod, but my head is still whirling with confusing and frightening thoughts. “I don’t want to lose you, Addy.” “You won’t.” He squeezes me tight. “That will never happen.”

I want to believe him, really I do, but it’s like we’re standing on the edge of a precipice. One wrong move could send one or both of us tumbling off the edge, and...

But we can’t go back to safety either; I know that. We could pretend for a few days, but I know I’m going to want to feel his lips on mine again. The question is, am I go...

“The shop’s open tomorrow, so you should get some sleep.” He brushes his knuckles over my cheek. “We both should.” “Together?” I ask. “If you’d like to.”

“We slept together last night.” I squeeze my eyes shut and curse under my breath. “We slept next to each other last night.” “We can do that again tonight if you want.” “Do you want to?” He stares into my eyes. “Yes,” he whispers. “I do.”

“I think so.” There’s a slight tremor in his voice again, which tells me he’s scared too. It’s comforting that neither of us is alone right now. This is new and weird and scary for us both.

He leads me to it, and we get into bed. He pulls me to him, so I’m spooning against him like we’ve done dozens of times before. Only it’s different.

We’re wearing fewer clothes for a start, and I’m hyper-aware of how his body feels against mine—warm and furry all over. His body hair tickles me in a nice way.

“How’s this?” he asks. “Nice. Familiar but also brand new, if that makes any sense at all.” He kisses my shoulder and then rests his chin there. “It makes p...

“Making sure you’re real.” I laugh. “I’m real.” “It wasn’t a dream?” He’s still patting me, but he’s moved to my chest. It’s quite nice to have him touch me, even if it’s a little forceful.

“Not a dream.” “Are you sure?” “Want me to prove it?” Fitz purses his lips. “How?” I roll him onto his back and kiss him, which feels amazing.

“Was that good enough to prove this is real?” Fitz hums. “Maybe. I might still be half-asleep, though, so my mind might be playing tricks on me.” I’m so glad he’s being silly with me again.

Last night, he was the most serious I’ve ever seen him. I’m happy to keep on proving to him that this is real, so I kiss him again. And again.

Honestly, I could kiss him in bed all day, but he does have to get up. As for me, well, I’m up already, in a different sense...

“Will you still be here when I get home?” Fitz asks. “Duh, I live here.” “You know what I mean.” “Will I still want to kiss you?” “Yes.”

“Absolutely.” I give him a quick and gentle peck to prove it. “Will you still want me to?” “I think so.” He holds my face in his hands. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.” “Me too.”

“Really? Because you seem calm about everything, while I feel like I’m losing my mind.” “Do you want to know a secret?” Fitz nods. “I’m losing my mind too, b...

“You need me to be calm right now. You need me to be a rock for you, and I can do that.” “Not a rock.” “Oh?” “A tree. You’re a sturdy tree with deep r...

He strokes my cheeks and stares into my eyes. It feels like he’s silently begging me to explain. “You’re scared and maybe a bit fragile right now, but soon you’re going to relax, accept this is real, and go with the flow. You’ll open and blossom like a beautiful flower.”

His face goes red, diminishing his freckles a little. He has so many freckles.

He presses his lips together and narrows his eyes. It’s his thinking face. I’ve seen it hundreds of times but never quite realised how adorable it makes him look.

I blink. “We’re…boyfriends?” Fitz looks startled. “I don’t know. Are we?” “Well, according to my sister, we’re already married.” “True.”

I kiss him softly. “Will you be my boyfriend, Fitz?” “Maybe.” That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.

“I have one condition,” he says. “What’s that?” “That you’ll still be my best friend.” His brown eyes are wide and pleading. “I will always be ...

“Did you kiss him?” “He kissed me first, and then I kissed him properly.” “And? Were there sparks?”

“Of?” “Fucking this up and losing my best friend.” “I don’t think there’s much danger of that.”

“Happy letting the guy you secretly love cook Valentine’s dinners for you?” She shakes her head. “There’s nothing secret about the fact I love Fitz as a friend. But being boyfriends is different.” “It doesn’t have to be.”

“Not so much. I don’t want to screw up.” “You won’t. You care too much for Fitz to ever hurt him. The same goes for him. You two are meant to be together. You have an amazing friendship, and soon you’ll have something even stronger and more wonderful than that.”

“Hi, honey. I’m home!” I shout as I walk in the front door. Addy, who is sitting on the sofa reading a book, looks up in surprise. Then his expression breaks, and he looks at me fondly before laughing.

I smile up at him. Unless he stoops down, I can’t reach up and kiss him. Why do I have to be so short?

I blink at myself. Twenty-four hours ago, I wouldn’t have thought about kissing him. I’d have been showing him the cupcakes by now.

However, I do want to kiss him, which is kind of astonishing but also comforting because I’m sure it means that we ...

If I can’t reach him, he’ll have to come to me. I grab his shirt and tug him down. He raises his eyebrows in surprise but then ta...

He puts one hand on the back of my head and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I keep a tight hold of his shirt and stroke his face with my other hand. ...

“Yum.” He kisses me again, making me wonder if his comment referred to the cupcakes or me. “I’m not sure wanting to kiss me so much is going to be good for you,” I muse.

“Why not?” “Having to lean down all the time is going to give you a bad back.” He chuckles and then claims my mouth again. “It’ll be worth it. But I can also do this.”

I yelp as he picks me up, marches me over to the kitchen, and sits me on the worktop. “Better,” he decides, nudging my knees apart so he can stand between my legs. Th...

“I’m still scared, Addy. That’s not going to go away overnight or even any time soon. But I missed you all day and wanted to kiss you the moment I got home, so I figure I need to work hard not to let my fear wreck things between us.” “I’m glad.”

I cough and laugh and do my best to eat the cake. I’ve barely swallowed when his lips are on mine, kissing the buttercream away. “You taste sweet,” he says.

“Oh no! Whatever will I do?” I cry. “Help! Help! A gorgeous giant has captured me!” “Gorgeous?” Addy asks. “Yes. You’re ruggedly handsome.”