Oblivious

by Colette Davison

Whereas I’m six feet two, and I hate talking to people unless I have to. Fitz is the exception to that. I’ve known him for so long that talking to him is second nature.

Fitz laughs. “What’s wrong with perky?” “No one should be that irrepressibly chirpy.” “I’m perky.” I frown. “I can cope with you.” “Aww, you love me.” “I do.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with my best friend. So if you’re not going to go on a blind date—which I think you should—I’ll start planning what to cook.”

“What?” “You knew Adrian was here based on his order?” “He always asks for the same thing—a cheese and tomato toastie. No cucumber, extra radish. I bet he asked for peppermint tea.” “You’re so cute.” “What? Why?” “You just are, that’s all.”

I go back to the kitchen with a smile on my face. Talking to Addy always makes me happy, so he couldn’t have timed his surprise visit any better.

“I’m glad you like them. I don’t think I’ll have them available all year, but I’ll bake a batch for you whenever you want me to.” “Aww, you’d do that for me?” “Of course.

“How can you mess up a date by talking?” “Because I’m hopeless at it.” “Are we, or are we not having a perfectly good conversation right now?”

“Talking to you is different.” “Why?” “Because there’s no pressure. I don’t get nervous around you.” “You used to.” “Yeah, like twenty years ago.”

But he sat with me the next day and the next, and somewhere along the line, I started answering his questions, stuttering over my words. He didn’t talk over me, just listened and waited for me to spit out whatever it was I was trying to say.

He looks at me with huge brown puppy eyes. His eyes are almost the same brown as the millions of freckles on his face.

He loves that shop, and he puts everything into making it a success. I’m so proud of him for turning his dreams into reality.

I smile at him fondly. One thing’s for sure; there’s never a dull moment when Fitz is around.

I don’t like to think of a future where we don’t live together, but it will come. One of us will end up in a long-term relationship sooner or later—I predict it will be him—and then one of us will move out.

We’ll always be friends, though. I’m sure of that. Or, as Fitz would say, besties. Our friendship will change when ...

He’ll make a great dad someday. Whomever he settles down with will be lucky.

Addy lies against the back cushions, and I snuggle up to him. He has to put an arm around me to anchor me so I don’t accidentally fall off during the night. My best friend and I are spooning.

“I’ve set the alarm on my phone. I’ll go home first so I can take a shower.” I’ll have to take a taxi, but that’s okay. “I’ll try not to wake you.” Addy hugs me to him. “No, wake me up. I’ll come with you.” “Are you sure?”

“Better.” He squeezes me gently. “Night, Fitz.” “Night, Addy.” I put my hand over his and drift off to sleep, feeling happy and content.

I shrug and sit. Fitz sits on my lap, leaning against my chest. It’s not the first time he’s sitting on my knee, and I doubt it will be the last.

“You’re a couple.” “No, we’re not,” Fitz says. “We’re flatmates, and we’ve⁠—” “Been best friends for twenty years,” Vanessa says in a bored tone. “I know.”

“Why would you think that we’re a couple?” I ask. “Because you are! And you’re the only two people on the planet who haven’t realised it.”

I move my hands and rest them on the arms of the chair. Fitz has sat upright, so he’s no longer leaning against me. My chest feels od...

“We’re not a couple,” he says quietly. “We’re just friends.” Vanessa lets out an exasperated sigh. “Friends...

“You act like a married couple. The only thing you don’t do is sleep together.” I decide it’s best not to tell her that Fitz and I slept on a sofa together last night. Not that it meant anything. It certainly didn’t mean what she’s implying.

He looks at me, confusion furrowing his brow. A strange feeling makes my chest tight—unsettle twinned with concern. I don’t want my sister’s words to come between Fitz and me. I’m not even sure what possessed her to say such things. Yes, we’re close. Yes, we’re ‘touchy-feely’, as she put it, but so what?

“I don’t know why she said all that stuff⁠—” “Maybe we should,” Fitz says in a rush. “Should what?” “Kiss each other.”

“It won’t mean anything, but at least we’d both know.” I stare at him, unsure what to say. “I’ve never even thought about kissing a guy before,”

“But you’re my bestie, so I’d feel safe experimenting with you.” He huffs in a breath. “You want to kiss me?” He sh...

“I don’t want anything to change between us.” He looks into my eyes. “I think someth...

“You’re sure she’s wrong?” “Are you sure she’s not?” I counter. “No. Which is why I think we should kiss. When it means nothing, we’ll be able to shrug this evening off and pretend Vanessa never said anything.”

“Please, Addy?” I nod and move my hand from his shoulder to his jaw, cupping his cheek. My heart thunders as I lean down.

I stop short of actually pressing my lips against his. His brown eyes watch me intently. I keep expecting him to laugh and tell me he is joking, that he’s just calling my bluff. That he doesn’t think for a second that I’d kiss him because, duh! We’re just friends.

But he doesn’t do any of that. He just stands there, staring at me, waiting for m...

My head has been a mess since Vanessa declared that Addy and I were a couple. We’re not. I’m pretty sure we’d both know if we were, so why can’t I get her comments out of my head?

I’m not sure what possessed me to ask Addy to kiss me either. Curiosity? A need to prove to Addy and Vanessa that we are one hundred per cent just good friends?

All I can hear right now is the thump of my heart and the rush of blood in my ears. I can feel Addy’s hand cupping my face.

His fingers are rough from working with trees, ropes, and power tools. No one’s ever touched me in this exact way before. It’s nice. Really nice.

I stare up into Addy’s eyes. They’re pale grey-blue. I’ve noticed his eye colour a million times or more, but it’s never seemed so intense before. Then agai...

Unable to stand the suspense any longer, I push up onto my toes and kiss him. It’s a quick peck, nothing more, barely long enough to feel ...

It starts in my lips but quickly spreads out to my cheek and jaw beneath his hand, the skin his thick beard is tickling, and then farther still until my entire body seems to be crackling with electricity.

Addy stands tall. I blink my eyes open and stare up at him. My heart is pounding, and my lips feel oddly cold now that the kiss is over. He swipes his thumb over my chin.

“Did that mean anything to you?” he asks. I touch my fingers to my lips. “Yes.” Fear stabs at my heart. “Did it mean anything to you?” He cups my face. “Yes.” And then kisses me.

This time, he pushes me against the wall. It’s probably a good thing, as my legs are rapidly turning to jelly. At least now I’ve got something to prop me up.

The tingling takes hold of my body even faster than before. It’s undeniable and unmistakable and so fucking confusing. But it’s also lovel...

He scoops me into his arms as though I’m weightless—to be fair, he’s almost a foot taller than me, and he lugs huge tree branches around for a living—and carries me through to the sitting room.

“That’s my name.” His voice is cracked like he’s trying hard not to cry. “What’s wrong? Oh, God. You regret kissing me, don’t you? This was a huge mistake. Now everything’s going to be weird and⁠—”

“Shut the fuck up, Fitz,” Addy whispers before pressing his lips to mine again. The next thing I know, I’m lying on the sofa with Addy leaning over me as he kisses me tenderly.

If you’d asked me this morning what I’d be doing this evening, kissing my best friend wouldn’t have been anywhere on my list.

But here we are, and curiously, I don’t want to stop. I’ve loved Addy for years, just not like this. Have I?

He stops and rests his forehead against mine. “Hey.” “Hey.” “I’ve never kisse...