The Butcher's Masquerade (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #5)

by Matt Dinniman

“Suck my dick, Pony,” I said, standing up and facing the goat. Prepotente burst into tears. He jumped into the cart and wrapped his hands around Miriam, who took him into a tight hug. “Now Carl, that wasn’t very nice,” Miriam said, her voice gentle yet scolding. “We did save your life.” Donut: CARL, I’M STARTING TO THINK THESE PEOPLE MIGHT BE A LITTLE WEIRD. “He insulted me first!” I said. I regretted saying it the moment it came out of my mouth. It sounded whiny even to my own ears. I suddenly felt like I was back in grade school, and we

I luv u mirium

“Pony shouldn’t have done that, either. Now both of you apologize to each other.” Behind her, the flames on Bianca’s back continued to prickle angrily, almost like a seismograph. The demonic pet was faced away and was attached to the cart with a harness, but I had no doubts it could break away at a moment’s notice and devour us. “I’m not going to do it,” Prepotente said, his face buried in Miriam’s robes. “He was mean to me, mother. He’s awful. Just awful. He’s worse than those buffoons at Club Vanquisher.” “Pony,” Miriam said, stroking the goat’s head. “We discussed this. You mustn’t insult everyone.”

“He called me by my special name. Only you can call me by my special name.” I exchanged a look with Donut. We needed to get the hell away from these nut jobs. Bianca continued to move forward. She seemed to sense that the danger was starting to wane, and the flames on her back settled. I could now see the edge of town. A pair of the mushroom guards stood just inside the gate, watching us approach. A line of scorch marks marred the entrance to the town. The air smelled of smoke. “I’m sorry, Carl,” Prepotente sa...

“Yeah, uh, no worries. Sorry about telling you to suck my dick.” Miriam beamed. When she did, I could see the twin fangs, and suddenly that motherly feeling she gave off vanished and was replaced by an uneasy revulsion. “See, now that wasn’t so hard. Now both of you hug.” “Uh,” I said. Prepotente removed himself from Miriam and approached me, arms wide. Tears glistened in his goat eyes. “Yes, Carl,” Donut said. “Be a good boy and hug Prepotente.” Donut: YOU BETTER DO IT OR YOU’LL LOOK LI...