‘I feel so aimless nowadays,’ I tell my friend Hannah. ‘What do you mean?’ I try to explain the sensation but it’s difficult. How many times I go to have a bath, or for a walk, and stop halfway through; turning off the hot tap or pulling the laces back out of my shoes. I can’t stop thinking about how there’s no one there to know that I’ve gone for a bath, or for a walk, and as a result the act of doing one of those things, anything, starts to feel completely pointless. So I turn off the tap or I take off my shoes and curl up at the bottom of the bed, held in a sort of paralysis where all I can
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