Two Parts Sugar, One Part Murder (Baker Street Mystery #1)

by Valerie Burns

CHAPTER 24

Once again. This is the same scene. Why are we calling a new chapter!?

I got a text message. I looked at my phone and then put it down. After a few minutes, I picked it up and replied.

Just a mess.

“Fine. I’ll put it in my purse, but I won’t need it. Brad isn’t the violent type. He might get his hands dirty.”

Contradicting

I’m going to bake a chocolate cake to bribe Luke Carter into letting me see Garrett Kelley’s cell phone records. Then I’m going to search the house for anything Aunt Octavia might have left me. Lastly, I’m going to get dressed to go out on the town with Bradley Ellison.”

This seems like an essay introduction, not someone's true speech.

He helped me on with my coat. “I read Vogue and try to stay up on the latest fashion trends. Just because I’m here in this backwater doesn’t mean I have to dress like the local yokels.” He chuckled. I gritted my teeth and forced a smile. And he called me an airhead.

What about his sentence denotes that he is an airhead? An airhead is not defined by an interest in fashion... if that were the case Madison, you would be considered an airhead.

Then he started talking about Miss Octavia and how much he missed her.” He shook his head and shuffled his feet around. Then he looked up. “He started crying and going on about how sorry he was and how much he missed her.”

repetitive