Does It Hurt?

by H.D. Carlton

The ocean is beautiful. But it’s also unforgivable. Within seconds, it can turn against you. Drag you down so violently, you don’t know which way is up, and feed you into its cavernous mouth until you drown or end up between the teeth of something much scarier.

“When have we ever been able to let go of the things that hurt us most?”

Life has a funny way of throwing people into your path when you’re meant to collide. It’s up to you to choose to make it permanent.”

“Nope. I could get pregnant just looking at you. Go away.”

Body of a Greek god? Check. Could ruin my life with just the tip? Check. Has a permanent scowl and carries himself like he hates the world? Just fuck me already.

“So, you’re telling me that you swim with sharks?

“You’re going to ruin me, too. But unfortunately for you, that’s where I feel most at home.”

“You want me to fuck you with my mouth? I can do that, baby. But it will be your pussy I’m fucking.”

“You taste better than the sweetest wine, and I could fucking drink you forever.”

“You’re going to ruin me,” he reiterates. I will. “I won’t.” At least not like he thinks. “You’re lying.” I am. “You won’t be the only one that will be ruined, remember?”

“Just the tip. That’s all you get.”

“It seems you have forgotten that you need more of me to come, but I don’t need you,” I say in a hushed tone.

“Does it hurt, bella?”

Cazzo, quanto mi fai godere.”

We’ve been together from the very beginning, pipsqueak. I’ll never let you get away from me.

“Kneel,”

Fuck the sharks, I’m more concerned about the one behind me.

bella ladra?”

I don’t know what bella ladra means, but I’m too lost in the feel of him dragging his fingers through my pussy to care.

the world around me fades, monsters be damned.

“Don’t worry, baby, they’re not the ones you should be afraid of.”

“Those tears—they’re mine now. And I’ll pull plenty more out of you if you don’t tell me what I want to know.”

“Does it hurt, baby?” he asks quietly. “Not being able to scream for me like you want to.”

“Don't hide your tears, bella. You're so pretty when you cry.”

You’re so much more than the people who have hurt you.”

“What happened to you does not define you. It only forged a new path that will take you to a different version of yourself. But no one can force you to walk that road; only you can determine who you will be once you get there. It’s your choice who you become, Sawyer.”

“Because I want to be the only thing that keeps you up at night, bella ladra,” he growls. “And if anyone is going to hurt you, it’s going to be me.”

“Fuck, Sawyer, keep testing me. Your smile is only pretty because of those teeth. I’d hate to see them missing.”

“You can’t let them find me,” she whispers. “The only one who will ever find you is me, Sawyer. You can hide from everyone else, but you can’t hide from me.”

“Come back with me, bella.”

“That was really shitty.” “It was,” I agree, feeling the regret I swore I’d never feel. “Most would say shittier than you deserved.” She raises her brows. “Would you say that?” After a pause, I admit, “Yes. You didn’t deserve that.” Her eyes narrow. “Then say you’re sorry.” My gaze falls to her parted mouth, those pink lips puffy and smooth, before returning to her baby blues. “I’m sorry,” I murmur, letting her see how genuine I am. Because I am sorry.

“I’m sorry, bella,” I start, keeping my voice low and serious while I look up at her, ensnaring her gaze within my own. She stands tall before me, her spine straight and shoulders back. “I’ve been punishing you for something you didn’t do—something beyond stealing an identity. I’ve been making you hurt because I’m hurt, but you’re not the one who broke me. And it was never my right to break you.”

Can she see a man falling in love with a little thief? Can she see that I don’t want to but will submit to it anyway? Just as I’m submitting to her now.

amore mio. Ti darò tutto.”

“È impossibile odiarti quando mi fai sentire così vivo,”

“Ed è esattamente per questo che voglio odiarti. Prima di incontrare te ero un sonnambulo. Cazzo, non ero pronto a svegliarmi.”

“Ho sbagliato a dirti che eri debole. Sei così incredibilmente coraggiosa, vorrei che lo vedessi anche tu.”

“Ti penso ogni ora, ogni minuto, ogni dannato secondo. Non so che fare.”

“L’oceano era l’unico posto in cui mi sentivo a casa,”

“Era l’unica cosa che mi eccitava e dava pace. Hai rovinato anche questo. Sentirti su di me è meglio di immergersi nell’oceano. Neanche con questa rivelazione so che fare.”

“Cazzo, quanto sei bagnata,”

“Let me—I still can’t breathe.” “Baby, you’ll never be able to breathe as long as I’m inside you,”

“That—that’s my limit,” she squeaks. “Then let me take you to a new limit.”

“You don’t get to be the one that cries,” he tells me. “You don’t get to cry when you’re the one who ruined me.”

“You’re a goddamn siren, and I’m the fool who would gladly drown just to get a taste of you. Starve, for all I care, bella, but I will be eating tonight, and the only thing I’m hungry for is you.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“There’s a place in the ocean, so deep, where not a single point of light penetrates through it. And for so long, I’ve been trapped there, unable to breathe. When I met you, you lifted me out of that darkness, and it was the first time I came up for air. You’ve become my oxygen, bella ladra, and I can no longer breathe without you.”

“You are a thief, baby. You stole my name, and now you’ve taken my heart, too. Demand anything else from me, and I’ll give it to you.”

“You’re not fucking leaving me, Sawyer. You’re not going to jail. You’re not going anywhere. You want to pay for your crimes? Good. I’m more than happy to make you pay. And if you think for one goddamn second that I’m letting you go, then I look forward to showing you just how trapped you are with me.

“There are many things you deserve, bella ladra, but the only prison you will be a captive in is one of my own making. If my love is a prison, so be it.”