Snowed in with Grumpy (Silver Mountain, #1)

by Olivia Noble

I guess I know where he got that very fitting nickname everyone uses around town. Grumpy McGrumpypants. Classic. I clear my throat again. “While you think about the contract, I would like to begin my presentation, Mr. McGrumpy—er, McGuinty.” Crap. Giant sparkly, steaming reindeer crap. Did I really just say that out loud? Real professional, Ava. This is what happens when a girl doesn’t get coffee before her meeting. My face is turning red—redder than Rudolph’s nose. (Not my Rudolph.) But I’m trying to ignore that this happened and continue. I press a button to flip to the first slide of my presentation.

Slip of the tongue...LOL Ava is so in need of coffee

I temporarily forget that I am also drinking very hot, fresh, festive coffee as I stare at this man’s mouth. I somehow forget how to do all basic things, like breathing or thinking. I manage to tilt the coffee cup too far, overestimating the capacity of my mouth. I manage to dump most of the piping hot liquid all over my face and down my neck into my shimmery blouse…. effectively scalding my boobs.

Smooth move...Ava totally distracted by all that beard and whipped cream

It is only when I have opened my blouse that I realize what bra I am wearing. And it’s not professional at all. Shit. It’s a Christmassy red bra that says MERRY on one boob, and XMAS on the other boob. It was a joke gift from my sister Juniper, who designs funny underwear. All my other good bras were in the laundry today. My other sister, Noelle, scolded me and insisted I wash them. Just my luck—I only wash my bras once a year, and it happened to be this week.

She's giving him a peep show and a sales presentation

“Wait!” But I am not fast enough in my heels, and I stumble and twist my ankle as the doors close. He only stares at me as the elevator gaps disappears, and I think, for a second, his eyes lower to my chest one last time to study the Christmas-themed disaster of cocoa and coffee all over my coconuts. There are marshmallows on my melons. It’s teatime on my tatas. My life is over.

Poor Ave could she have had anything else go wrong??? At least she didn't spray him with her mochaccino all over his handsome suit.

“Oh, honey,” he says when he sees how upset I am. “Did you forget about your PowerPoint presentation and decide to give him a striptease instead? I’m all for improvisation, but you gotta give me a little heads up so I can put some music on first. A little Santa Baby, or Pour some Cocoa on Me.” “Rudy, I hate you,” I tell my friend brokenly. “You’re fired.” He clucks his tongue. “No, I’m not. You would never fire your best buddy.” “I can, and I just did,” I tell him as I lift the handkerchief to wipe away a tear. “This is all your fault! If you had brought me the coffee sooner instead of ogling him, I could have concentrated on the presentation.”

Rudy not exactly helping the whole situation by cracking jokes

Besides, you look damn good, you know? I am sure that your tinsel tits are emblazoned in Grumpy’s memory banks forever. Better to be unforgettable than boring, don’t you think?” This finally coaxes a small smile from my lips. “Okay. A little bit of humiliation never killed anyone, I guess.” “Humiliation?” he repeats thoughtfully. “Nah, girl. When you whipped out those MERRY XMAS boobs like WHAM—” he mimes the gesture of ripping open an invisible shirt, “you nearly gave me a semi. That was some Clark Kent shit right there. Like you were a superhero of festive fun underneath that boring business attire. Don’t you know why Mr. Grumpypants ran out of here so fast? He was afraid of poking a hole right through the crotch of that expensive suit of his.” “What? No way,” I respond with a laugh. “Trust me, girl. I saw the telltale bulge. And it wasn’t no semi. It was a full-on freight train.”

Well Grumpy got a chubby...;-)

“Bring him a bottle of wine as a peace offering. I know you can be smooth when you want to be. Just take the night to think about it and strategize,” Rudy says. “Go home to your sisters, and they’ll cheer you up. Juney and Ellie always know how to make you feel better.” “No,” I tell him suddenly. “My sisters are counting on me right now. I need to bring home a win for the family. Things are tough this Christmas, since Mumsy got sick.” “I know, honey.” I gesture at my chest and my bra. “Can I get cleaned up at your place? I don’t want to go home to Snowfall Inn unless I’ve got good news for them. Do you have anything for me to wear?” “No, sorry, sweetie. I don’t have anything... but Rude Girl Vixen might have something sassy you can borrow.”

OMG Ava's going to borrow some of Rudy's Vixen clothing....

“Oh, who cares, Snow. Since when do you take ‘no’ for an answer?” Sandy asks. “You’re one of my top sellers and a real go-getter, and you’re up for promotion. I know it’s been a rough year for you, with your mom’s illness and all, but if you can just land this sale, you’ll prove to the whole company that you’ve got what it takes, and we will fast track you up the ladder to a much better position. More money, more opportunities, more international.”

Sell, sell, sell! A NO is a request for more information according to Thompson Newspapers.

“Who cares, Snow? Use this knowledge to your advantage. The man loves children. So, take a look at the developer’s plans, and emphasize the fact that they will be building new schools, or community centers—whatever floats his boat. Touch his heart. Be ruthless. Make stuff up if you need to. Just get it done... or find yourself a new job, because there won’t be one waiting for you back here.”

That boss is one cold S.O.B.!

“Maybe you should let Mr. McGrumpy hang some ornaments on your Christmas tree.” I press my palm against my forehead where a headache is beginning to form. “I don’t even know what that means,” I tell him with annoyance. “Maybe you should let him stuff some presents into your empty stockings. I bet he’s got a nice stocking stuffer for you, too,” Rudy says, still dancing. “Meow, baby.” “Okay,” I groan, rubbing circles into my aching temples. “I love you, but please shut up. This is not helpful. I have a real job to do.”

Rudy has gone to the gutter and is overly suggestive

“Girls,” I say in a low voice. “We need the money. Mumsy and Pop Pop could lose everything. You know how much Snowfall Inn means to them. They’ve given their whole lives to that little place. We can’t let them lose the B and B, just due to medical bills... They were married there, almost fifty years ago. So let me do this—just my little part, to contribute.

Ava putting enough pressure on heself without the girls weighing in too

The house is so dark—what if he’s sleeping? As I walk toward his front door, my heart starts pumping madly with anxiety. I reach out and grab the knocker and take a deep breath. I summon up all the jingle-bells lady-balls I can muster and slam that knocker down on his front door once, twice, three times loudly. Confidently.

Jingle-bells lady-balls LOL

I step cautiously through the snow, still using my phone for light. I walk around the house and to the backyard, and sure enough, there he is—chopping firewood. With a giant axe. And he’s... dressed like Santa Claus.

Santa chopping wood...hot lumberjack yummy

“Okay, Miss Coffee Boobs. I can see you shivering with cold, so maybe you should come inside and help me drink this wine. And tell me why you really came all this way.” Wow. I’ve never heard him say so many words all at once. And he’s being friendly and inviting. Too friendly? “I probably shouldn’t drink because I will have to drive back through the storm,” I tell him. “But I wouldn’t object to something warm. Maybe coffee.” “Sure,” he responds. “Hopefully we can get it in your mouth this time.” Oh my gosh. I feel my face turning red. “Wow. Does that Santa suit come with a personality and a sense of humor? Because you didn’t have any the last time we met. You couldn’t even introduce yourself.”

Miss Coffee Boobs...fitting

“You should try this,” he tells me. “It will cure whatever ails you. Body and soul. Meanwhile, I’m going to go change into something a little more comfortable.” Did he wink? I thought I saw him wink. Is Grumpy McGrumpypants being friendly and flirty with me?

Mulled wine and Mr. McFlirty

Holy Mother of Snowman Penis. If I hadn’t already covered myself in hot liquid while staring at McGuinty today, I would have definitely spilled this wine all over myself. But I’m getting better at this. I’m learning to function under the pressure of maximum hotness. Is he aware that he just put on the sexiest thing a guy can possibly wear? Or is he just being relaxed and casual in his home? Just walking around and being a man, letting his meat hang free. Letting his giant dingaling swing.

You go girl...checking out the package ;-) Rudy would be so proud

“When I left their home it was just so quiet. And when I got back here… the house felt emptier than ever. I usually love the silence, you know? It’s peaceful. But tonight it just felt… really lonely and dead.” My heart aches for him. He’s admitting to being lonely? That’s quite courageous. Especially for such an independent, tough guy, who clearly prides himself on not needing anyone. And he’s glad for me to be here… so that he can have a little company? Now I want to stay. More than anything, I just want to stay and talk to him, and let him tell me more sweet secrets in that gorgeous voice of his.

He'opening up and softening up too

“Okay, Miss Ava Snow. Since you’re so eager to tell me about your developer’s offer, go ahead. We’ve got time. But I will warn you, I’ve heard it all before. I’m not an easy man to sell on anything.”

Wow he's going to listen to the proposal

“Don’t touch me,” I tell him, ripping my hand away with my last ounce of strength. “And next time you have guests, put on some proper pants. I can practically see the veins in your Johnson. It’s distracting!” He looks down at his groin with alarm, horrified at my description. Satisfied, I escape out into the blizzard, and slam the door behind me, heading quickly for my car.

She might as well have slapped Garland ...OMG

Just something in the way he looked at me—it made me feel too good, too safe. Something in the way he worried about me and cared for me. His energy was so gentle and warm, like a comforting blanket I wanted to wrap around myself forever. I just felt so much yearning for him that I couldn’t explain it or make sense of it. I knew that there was no way I could stay the night, or a few nights, without getting too attached. He just seemed really wonderful. Not as grumpy as they all say. I can’t get close to someone wonderful like that, only to walk away later. It would hurt too damn much. But he also seemed lonely. And I wanted to fix that. The look in his sad eyes comes back to haunt me, and my heart still aches for him. He wanted me to stay.

Mutual attraction but crossed purposes and philosophies

Avalanche. I am tempted to press down on the gas pedal at full speed to outrun the giant boulders of snow that are crashing down around me, but it’s too fast. I am tempted to put the car in reverse, and try to back out of the situation, but again, it’s happening too fast. I can’t do anything. I’m stuck here.

OMG call Garland so that he can start search...

“Please help me,” I whisper into the radio, begging with my last bit of strength. “Please.” But there is no response. I listen keenly, wishing for any noise, even a grunt. I wonder if I’ll ever see my parents, my sisters, or Rudy again. I remember the touch of Garland’s hand on mine, and I wish I could go back to that moment when I didn’t kiss him. If I knew I was going to die a few minutes later, I definitely would have kissed him. Hard. And maybe even gotten to play with the goodies he was hiding in those sweatpants. What does it matter now. Tears gather in my eyes at this sad regret. Then everything goes black.

Ava's got lots of regreats now...but did Garland hear her?

I put my hands on my hips, assuming the superman pose. I’ve heard that it makes you feel more confident. And proud of your sausage meat. But when I stand like this, I definitely see the outline that Ava mentioned, and I wince.

Now he sees she was right...superman pose saves the day...LOK

Sugarplum fairy tits. It was hard enough to focus on anything she was saying when her shirt was on. How the hell did she expect me to use my upstairs brain once she unbuttoned it? I am only a human man. There is no way I can avoid having a physical response to a marshmallows and creamy coffee striptease. She was even wearing festive lingerie, for Frosty’s sake.

Well he is a red blooded male after all ;-)

I knew that if I kissed her, I would never let her leave. I would need to claim her as mine. I don’t give my affection to a woman often, and when I do—I mean it. I get too possessive. I get too intense. I don’t play around. I don’t know if she’s ready for that. I don’t know if I am ready for that. I guess I was too scared to try. Too scared to unleash a boatload of emotions on both of us, all at once. And maybe terrified that if I kissed her she would be repulsed or frightened. That she wouldn’t feel the same way. I was scared it wouldn’t mean that much to her—that it would offend her, and that she would run away, leaving me here all alone. But she did anyway.

Intense reaction!!

“Woof woof,” says Chestnut. You really need a girlfriend who speaks human English, so you can finally stop bothering me all day—this is an important mission. Let’s get on the road already. “Okay, okay, I’m going,” I tell him as I push the button to start my vehicle. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” “Woof woof,” he responds with a low growl. I knew she had to be pretty when you stared at your crotch in the mirror for twenty minutes. Hurry it up, G. “Hot damn,” I say with embarrassment. “You know me too well, bud.”

Garland chatting with Chestnut rather than the beautiful Ava

“Hey,” I say gruffly, reaching over to touch her cold cheeks. “Sorry to drop in on you like this.” She laughs weakly, which turns into a cough. “Thank you for coming.” “Why couldn’t you just drive into a ditch like a normal girl?” I ask her, as I check her body for any signs of bleeding or broken bones. “Maybe crash into a little tree or a telephone pole if you wanted my attention? This is a little bit dramatic for a third date.” “Third date?” she asks, with a tired smile. She doesn’t seem to understand why I am touching her body. She seems dizzy and confused as she struggles to unbuckle her seatbelt. “Coffee boobs, date one,” I say, counting on my fingers. “Wine and sweatpants, date two. Avalanche rescue, date three.” “Can our fourth date just be sleeping somewhere warm,” she asks quietly, her eyes closing as she speaks, reminding me of the gravity of the situation. Her head is bleeding—she probably has a concussion.

Always with the smart ass jokes...