Colliding With Fate

by A.E. Valdez

Money can’t buy you a family that gives a shit.

“Quinn…” He hesitates and looks at the joint in his hand. “I’ve been hurt a lot in my life. Let down a lot. I rarely let people in. I know I’m vague and seem like I don’t give a shit… but I do. If I could give you me right now, I would. But it would be fragments of me. I’m fucked up. And you deserve everything. So if there’s some fucker out there who can give you that and make you cum… who am I to stand in the way of that?”

I have anger and sadness coursing through me. Two emotions that feel like polar opposites, yet they go hand in hand.

Quinn feels like peace to my chaos.

In these moments, everything else fades away. All I see is her. All I feel is her. When I fall into the softness of her my soul and sorrows are wrapped in peace.

Everything about this woman is fucking perfect, but everything about me is not.

It felt so good on the way down. Indulging in uninhibited pleasure. It wasn’t just the pleasure, though. It was being with someone who wanted you to be who you truly are, who made you feel free.

“Life. I’m going to miss life. I took far too much for granted. The simplest, little things I took for granted.”

“I think we take everything for granted until we’ve lost it or are at risk of losing it. It’s the risk that makes us appreciate things.”

“there’s nothing for you in the past. No matter how much you think it through, there’s not a single thing you can do to change it. We have right now–this moment. That’s what matters.”

“Thank you.” “For what?” he asks, confused. “Letting me in and allowing me to know all of you. Even the parts that you think are too dark for me to see.”

“I… didn’t want to open myself up to the possibility of more pain. Being in a relationship means I have to be open. It was easier to be alone. I only had to consider myself. But then you came along and caused me to question if that was true.”

“I’m sorry to leave you again, but know that I’ve loved every single minute with you and that I love you. I’ve always loved you and will love you… even when I’m gone.”

“I did want to lay under the stars, but then you said I was the best thing to ever happen to you, so lay became laid.”

Live and soak up every single moment. Lean into them, even the moments that terrify you. That’s how you know you’re alive.”

At least with physical pain, there are ways to alleviate it. Emotional pain can’t be numbed like physical pain can. It’s something that must be endured, no matter how excruciating it is.

“She’s who I see everything with. She is everything. My everything.”