The Rabbit Factor

by Antti Tuomainen

Actuarial mathematics is a discipline that combines mathematics and statistical analysis to assess the likelihood – or risk – of any eventuality, in order to define an insurance premium that from the insurer’s perspective is financially viable. This is the official definition.

To me it was like swimming in a pool half filled with sharks: though the sharks only took up half the pool, it was still their pool.

It turns out customer service is very difficult. And it’s because of the customers.

‘Because he’s a self-centred, self-obsessed man who thinks only about himself and who thinks every idea that pops into his head is pure, unadulterated genius that we mere mortals should admire the way parents marvel at their toddler’s light-yellow poo – which is what most of his thoughts are when you scratch the surface.

Mere mention of the word ‘date’ has always caused me a degree of discomfort. Not to mention what I think it is supposed to mean in practice: that, of my own free will, I should meet up with someone whom I either don’t know at all or only know slightly. This has never struck me as an especially wise way of behaving under any circumstances. There are many rational arguments against such behaviour, not least the fact that the probability that the meeting will turn out to be worth the effort is vanishingly small. We only have to count the number of interesting people we have met in our lives and relate that number to the total number of people we have met to get an idea of what kind of lottery-ticket odds are in play. As an actuary, I obviously don’t buy lottery tickets and I have decided that, if I ever did go on a date, I would first have to assure and convince myself of the relevant factors so I could deduce whether my actions would be profitable or not.