How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters

by Michael Bungay Stanier

undone by some combination of: you didn’t know where to start; you didn’t know who to ask; you were denied access to resources and support; you made a few False Starts and lost heart; you were told you weren’t the right person; you didn’t trust the plan; you didn’t master the skill immediately; you ran out of puff; you got distracted; you put it away “for now”; you were told to stop.

when things go wrong, you throw your hands up in the air and say, “How fascinating!”

#WinsNotWins, because while they genuinely do offer something in the immediate moment, they’re mostly pyrrhic victories: protecting our egos and others’; playing by others’ rules; staying hidden. They’re certainly not about unlocking greatness by taking on the hard things.

the Japanese ceramic art of kintsugi, which translates as “golden joinery.” When a dish breaks, rather than discarding it, a craftsperson beautifully repairs it with urushi lacquer infused or dusted with gold. It is a deliberate act to show rather than hide the repair. The dishes are considered more beautiful and more valuable than their unbroken companions...

There are parts of you that are already true, part of how you orient to the world when you’re at your best. Taking on your Worthy Goal will amplify these Qualities. They’ll be acknowledged, strengthened, brought into the light, and burnished. This is where that phrase you’ve heard from me before—we unlock our greatness by working on the hard things—can chime like a clean-struck bell. This is where you start to see and acknowledge what is great about you. It’s a powerful exercise, and I hope you’ll give it a whole-hearted shot.

“The Strategic Question”: If you’re saying yes to this, what must you say no to?

people feel good when they make regular progress on stuff that matters to them. Then, completing the positive feedback loop, when they feel good, they’re more likely to make progress.

A Practice is a commitment to process over outcome, a commitment to taking small steps forward with the purpose of collecting feedback and learning. It’s an Experiment + persistence.

clarifying through comparison. I’ve come to call this tool This/Not That.

the final three lines of Rilke’s poem “Der Schauende.” Edward Snow translates the title as “The Man Watching,” and the lines read thus: Winning does not tempt him. His growth is: to be the deeply defeated By ever greater things.