Worst of all, worst beyond anything, is that your husband is a mostly good man, as you are a mostly good woman. You want to call him and tell him you are glad he is gone, that you had been thinking about leaving him once the boys were out of the house. You want to call him to tell him to go fuck himself, you want to yell and scream and terrify him, not enough to make him come back, though perhaps that too, but just enough that he begins to wonder what you are capable of, if after all these years you have hidden depths. Do not do this. He will not believe you have hidden depths. You struggle to
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