Midnight Blue

by L.J. Shen

Alex Winslow was beautiful in a way storms were—only from afar. Just like them, he had the power to sweep and ruin you, two things I was too busy surviving to entertain.

Los Angeles was like a B-Grade prostitute. She let anyone in, looked less than average, and once inside, you realized there was too much traffic and that whoever’d been there before you had left a mess.

“Mr. Winslow, I’d be more than happy to purchase a pack of adult diapers for you. In fact, I think they’d suit you just fine, considering your behavior.”

“Let’s make one thing clear—I could fuck you to a point of numbness without even breaking a sweat if I wanted to. Now, careful, New Girl. If you don’t keep your distance from me, I think I just might.”

“Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” My eyes shot up. I’d recognize those words anywhere. “The Little Prince.”

Life is full of secrets, and narrow-minded people, and sugar-coated, empty conversations that hold no weight. What’s real is what’s inside us. What’s important is what we feel.

“If I don’t fuck you soon, I will die, and it will be on your conscience.”

“Then we end in Paris.” I brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “We end whenever Fallon and I begin again.”

“I apologize in advance.” He cocked his head to the side. “For?” “Ruining you for any other man on this planet. I’m going to fuck you, Indie. So hard you’ll think about me years from now, when you lie under your boring, missionary-loving husband. I will own every orgasm, every shiver, every wave of pleasure inside you. From here on out, it will be me. Just me. And for that, I truly am sorry.”

“Don’t give yourself a hard time, darlin’. Especially as next time I touch you, you will be on your knees for me.”

“What do you want from me, Alex?” Everything. I want everything, and then all the things you’ve already given away to other people. I want them back, too.

“Pity I can’t keep you,” he said around his cancer stick. “Who said I want to be kept?” He put his palm on my cheek and squeezed, a sad look in his eyes. “Who said you had a choice?”

Tania crashed with force against the door, chipped wood flying everywhere from the thump. She broke into two pieces, leaving me standing there, choking the neck of my guitar while the rest of her was lying on the floor.

“Seeing as next time we do this, I’m going to be so balls deep inside you, I’ll be able to tickle your fucking lungs.”

“I don’t want to fall in love with you,” she croaked. It wasn’t a statement as much as it was a plea. I thrust deeper, my forehead wrinkling in concentration as my balls tightened. “You don’t seem to have much choice,” I answered.

Now that Tania was gone, Stardust was my main instrument. And it saddened me, because I knew I had to break her, too.