Dear Child

by Romy Hausmann

“How are you, Lena?” Lena, that wasn’t me, that wasn’t my name.

As you can see, Lena, your husband couldn’t have chosen anyone less suitable than me for his little, sick, make-believe family. I was the worst possible person for the role. Even though these past few days I’ve kept wondering whether your role was really that clear. I’m not talking about what your husband forced you to do. No, I’m talking about you, Lena.

You ought to know exactly what it feels like to suffer such a loss, and yet, having dragged my daughter through the dirt, you now dare do the same to my granddaughter?

For Hannah and the boy, the cabin had been normal, their normality. And people rarely questioned their own normality.

I approach Jonathan on tiptoe, although I don’t think he’s dangerous. He isn’t anything anymore.

When Papa cried so badly. I knew at once that it was my fault Mama had gone away with Sara.

Our grandfather is really kind. He’s taking me home today. So it’s true. I told you, but you wouldn’t believe me. A promise is a promise and promises don’t get broken.”

The driver of the car. His voice doesn’t match his face when he calls out, “Frau Grass? Frau Grass! Nice and calm, now, Frau Grass!”

Of course she didn’t go to the bathroom. It’s not Hannah’s time for the bathroom, and she wouldn’t go without asking permission first.

“Frau Grass,” I heard him say several times before realizing that there was something not right about his voice. Of course he couldn’t have called me by my name. The person really talking to me at that moment was Dr. Hamstedt, trying to haul me back to reality.

“You can’t choose your family. And you can’t replace anyone either.”

“Don’t worry,” I whisper to her. “It won’t be long now.”

He even asked me for Jasmin G’s address because he wanted to send her a get-well-soon card.

Giesner’s sheet of paper doesn’t show my abductor but the driver of the car that hit me.

My abductor who isn’t dead.

Now I am. I didn’t imagine the cracking in the undergrowth as I was running through the woods. He followed me, killed the driver of the car and then stuffed him in the cabin in his place. That’s exactly what must have happened. Then he cut up his face until it was unrecognizable, while Hannah went in the ambulance with me.

worried she’d just be another of those who didn’t work out.