Mesmer (Dark Hearts)

by Cari Silverwood

If there was a food pyramid of predators of the human race, mesmers stood on the peak.

I’d have known he was angry even if he wasn’t throwing in fuck like it was punctuation confetti.

Inside every female is a slut. It was a mesmer brotherhood mantra.

“I always wanted you!” I said, too loudly, because I could barely hear myself think over the Greta girl, but he just stared at me, and I felt more words bubbling to the surface, pushing at my tongue, my lips. Tell the truth. “You’re the only person who ever saw me, Tomik. You’re the only one who ever tried. You never excluded me, you let me play D&D with you, let me hike with you… you never left me behind. You never abandoned me. “But then you did! You left! You left me behind and it broke my fucking heart, Tomik. You took everything good with you when you left. You left, and the whole world lost all color, all meaning. You left a hole in me and… I was lost. Why wouldn’t I want you? You’re my missing piece, my other half, and I hated my life, hated myself without you! I hated everything!”

I wanted to be the Tomik who could love Hannah, could make her happy. The man who could keep her safe from everyone… except me.

All of her pleases me. I remind myself to tell her that.