Every Other Memory

by Kaylee Ryan

“Three months,” she whispers. I nod as I count the time in my mind. It’s been exactly thirteen months tomorrow from the night we shared together.

The baby is three monts old so 3 month plus 9 months of pregnancy is 1 year, yet he says it's been 13 months? The math ain't mathing.

“No.” His voice is clipped, and Hazel whimpers in his arms. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he whispers, placing his lips on her head. “Daddy’s sorry.” His tone’s feather-soft as he speaks to our daughter.

“You mean the body that grew and created our daughter? The body that gave her life and still nurtures her. Your body is different, Cadence, but it’s sexy as fuck. I wish I could have seen you. I wish I could have cradled Hazel when she rested here.” My hand roams over her belly. “I wish I could have seen your body grow and change with our daughter.” Resting my forehead against her belly, I wrap my arms around Cadence and hold her tight. The enormity of what I’ve missed catches up to me. Those are memories I’ll never have.

“I’m here, Cadence. I’m here, and this is exactly where I want to be. I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving her. I don’t know what that looks like. There are so many things that we’re going to have to work out, but I want you.” I stare deep into her eyes, willing her to believe me. “I want both of you.”

Sitting here with the two of you… the last twenty-four hours have been more than I could have hoped for. I want you in my life. I want to be in her life and in yours. I know it’s soon, but I feel it deep.” “Sounds like a fairy tale.” “It is, baby. It’s our fairy tale. I want to live it out with you.”

“Now, let me get back to my family, and you need to get back to yours.” “You do remember that I’m your sister, right?” “Yes. And I love you, but I just got them, Thea.” Tears well in Thea’s eyes. “I love you.”

“It’s not just her, Cadence. It’s you too. You’re her mother. My family is your family. You’re my family.”

“I love you.” The room stills, but my heart keeps on beating like a bass drum in my chest. In two long strides, I’m standing in front of her. Cradling her face in the palm of my hands, I stare into her eyes. “I love you. So fucking much,” I say, kissing her.