Good Different

by Meg Eden Kuyatt

For all folks on the spectrum, wherever you are––you are loved and valued and worthy.

We have the power of dragons; therefore, we cannot live together with humans … we have the hearts of humans; therefore, we do not belong with monsters. We are outcasts in this world, never a part of either community. And so we live our lives alone, never to be understood by anyone. —Myrrh, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones

I like that there’s a place for me at Pebblecreek. Pebblecreek might not be perfect but it’s familiar and I never want to change it, like a pair of favorite shoes that even if they’re falling apart you tape up and try to fix because they’re special and important and yours.

She might be my best friend but she sits with lots of other people at lunch and has lots of friends over at her house. I don’t know if I’m her best friend.

I’d rather talk about myths or dragons but keep that part of me locked up because I know the girls don’t want to talk about myths or dragons.

Pretending to be a Normal person is tiring.

Even if the world doesn’t make sense and things are scary and unpredictable, you can count on the rules to make order from the chaos so that things can stay the same and no one gets hurt including you.

“You know, kiddo we dance to the rhythm of our own drums, don’t we? We’re cut from the same cloth. But you know what? We’ll make it through just fine.”

“I don’t like the word ‘wrong’ being used the same way as ‘different.’ ‘Wrong’ should be used when we’re talking about morals, not when we’re trying to blend in with everyone else.

“Overstimulated?” I ask. A new word to me. The dragon seller tucks a loose strand of black hair behind their ear. “Like when everything feels like it’s pouring in and there’s no room for all the feelings to go. You know?”

Autistic people struggle with things like communication change social interactions. They love repetition routines special interests.

Maybe my rules worry too much about what other people think Maybe Pop’s rules don’t think enough about how other people feel

Neurotypical: neurologically typical, what I’ve always thought was “normal.” Neurodivergent: people with variation in their brains, people who might be “different,” people like me. Pop said we’re in a world not built for us, a neurotypical world. People like us are dragons with clipped wings, but like Toothless with his prosthetic tail fin, we still find so many ways to fly

I want people to read my poems and understand who I really am, without my Normal-person mask. I thought I was damaged too because that’s what everything around me told me I was. I don’t have to believe that anymore.

Mom laughs, says, “I didn’t think it had a name. I just thought everyone was like us.”