With or Without You

by Shari Low

Do you sell up and move abroad? Do you cut off the toxic friend who detracts from your happiness?

‘No you haven’t. It’s just jealousy, pure and simple. He’s been yours for so long that it doesn’t feel right to see him with someone else.’

every occasion, every day ending in a ‘y’

He was the guy who made everything so much better than it would have been without him. He cheered the loudest, he laughed the longest, he sang like a rock star and he was always ready to put on another song and take to the dance floor to show off his moves.

He did make me happy – but he didn’t make me blissful, intoxicated, thrilled, interested or excited about the future.

There was no insulting her, because she took no one else’s thoughts or opinions on board. It was impossible to embarrass her because she had zero shame, and she was completely devoid of anything even closely resembling empathy.

My ovaries slapped a hand to their forehead.

when I decided to give our relationship another try, cowardice had fuelled that decision. Maybe optimism too, but mainly fear that I was doing the wrong thing, that I’d rue the day, that I’d never find another love, that I hadn’t tried hard enough to save us.