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December 6 - December 20, 2022
True Fun, I realized, is the feeling of being fully present and engaged, free from self-criticism and judgment. It is the thrill of losing ourselves in what we’re doing and not caring about the outcome. It is laughter. It is playful rebellion. It is euphoric connection. It is the bliss that comes from letting go. When we are truly having fun, we are not lonely. We are not anxious or stressed. We are not consumed by self-doubt or existential malaise. There is a reason that our moments of True Fun stand out in our memories: True Fun makes us feel alive.
Fake Fun is numbing and leaves us empty when we’re done. True Fun, on the other hand, makes us feel nourished and refreshed.
True Fun is the confluence of playfulness, connection, and flow.
By playfulness I mean a spirit of lightheartedness and freedom—of doing an activity just for the sake of doing the activity and not caring too much about the outcome.
Flow is a term used in psychology to describe when you are fully engrossed and engaged in your present experience to the point that you lose track of the passage of time.
we have internalized the idea that time is a commodity that can be traded, and that the most important thing we can trade it for is money; therefore, any use of time that does not result in financial compensation is not a valuable use of time.
every moment spent following algorithmically generated links is a moment we’re not doing something for ourselves, whether it’s reading a book, or practicing an instrument, or talking to a friend, or even just gazing at the sky. The more we allow our time to be shredded into confetti, the more we treat ourselves as products with public images that need to be cultivated and maintained—in other words, the more complicit we become—the less we’re able to slip into flow, be our authentic selves, and experience True Fun.
Our lives, in other words, have become like my parents’ house: functional, and in many ways quite comfortable—most of us probably wouldn’t want to pack up and move—but designed by someone else. If we want to have more True Fun, we need to become the architects of our own lives.
by rejuvenating, inspiring, and connecting us, fun has the power to help us create a better world.
building a more fun-filled life is not about shirking your responsibilities. It’s about reorienting yourself toward things that energize and excite you—a process that, in turn, will increase your resiliency and give you more energy for everything else.
And yet I sometimes still felt a simmering resentment. He would do anything I asked him, but I was the one doing most of the asking, because I was carrying much of the mental load of managing everyday logistics, keeping track of our family calendar, and planning and organizing new experiences.
it’s not just the novelty of new surroundings that is attractive to fun; it’s the absence of cues that remind us of the burdens of normal life,
many of us pack our lives to the brim because stillness and space can be deeply uncomfortable; we stay busy so that our anxieties can’t rush in.
if an activity does not generate playfulness, connection, or flow (and our purpose is not enjoyment), then we should not say that we’re doing it for fun.
“Determine to live life with flair and laughter.” —Maya Angelou
having a Fun Mindset refers to the habit of intentionally approaching and reacting to your life in a way that is attractive to fun. (People with fun mindsets are the ones who always seem to be enjoying themselves more than other people, even when they’re in exactly the same context.)
“The need of feeling responsible all the livelong day has been preached long enough.” —William James, “The Gospel of Relaxation”

