The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again

by Catherine Price

The first thing we need to acknowledge is that our lives are what we pay attention to.

being socially isolated is thought to be an even bigger risk factor than physical inactivity and health problems associated with obesity. Some experts believe that the health risks of loneliness and social isolation are comparable to those caused by smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. There are so many health problems associated with loneliness that Steve Cole, PhD, director of the Social Genomics Core Laboratory at UCLA, refers to loneliness as being a “fertilizer for other diseases.” Social isolation and loneliness are associated with higher risks for everything from high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and obesity to depression, Alzheimer’s disease, and cognitive decline. And, for the last two, the risk is particularly noteworthy: social isolation and loneliness have been associated with about a 50 percent increase in the risk of developing dementia.

These days, when I encounter a nonmandatory request—even if it’s potentially positive, such as a new opportunity—I ask myself: Does this feel fun? Will it generate playfulness, connection, or flow? If so, I consider saying yes. If not—or if saying yes will reduce the time I have available for more meaningful, enjoyable, or rewarding activities—I do my best to say no. I also try to pay attention to my body—it doesn’t lie. If I feel any sort of tightness or clenching, or if my breath becomes shallow or short, it’s a sign that I shouldn’t agree. On the flip side, if I notice lightness or excitement, I consider saying yes, even if the idea of doing so makes my stomach flutter. That’s often a sign of nervous excitement, which probably means I’m stepping out of my comfort zone in a good way.

if you ask four-year-olds to stand still for as long as possible, they typically can last about a minute. But if you tell the children to pretend that they are guards at a factory—in other words, if you invite them to treat the task as play—they can stay still for an average of four.

not all of the random thoughts that our minds generate are worth paying attention to! They’re just coming up with new thoughts because that’s what minds do.

“Rest is not something that the world gives us,” writes Soojung-Kim Pang. “It’s never been a gift. It’s never been something you do when you’ve finished everything else. If you want rest, you have to take it. You have to resist the lure of busyness, make time for rest, take it seriously, and protect it from a world that is intent on stealing it.” The same is true of fun.

living does not suddenly start happening when we achieve inbox zero, or win an argument with someone on social media, or earn a promotion.