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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Brené Brown
Started reading
November 9, 2024
Language is our portal to meaning-making, connection, healing, learning, and self-awareness.
These are important findings because, regardless of the different outcomes, in the end, comparing ourselves to others leads us to fear, anger, shame, and sadness.
The grass actually does look greener on the other side, but that means nothing comparatively because it’s all perspective.
That way I acknowledge the inevitable and make a conscious decision to
wish them well and return to my swim.
we just want to be better versions of ourselves.
desire for connection to what we revere—we want to move closer to that thing or person.
Jealousy typically involves three people and occurs when one fears losing someone to another person.
“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.”
Am I fearful of losing something I value to another person, or do I want something someone else has? If I want something that someone else has, do I want to see them lose it, or is it not about that? If I’m scared I’m losing something important to me, what kind of conversation do I need to have with that person?
We know from the research that unwanted identity is the most powerful elicitor of shame.
“No. Resentment is part of envy.”
I’m not mad because you’re resting. I’m mad because I’m so bone tired and I want to rest. But, unlike you, I’m going to pretend that I don’t need to.
when we feel relieved, grateful, or even happy that someone who has done something hurtful, unethical, or unjust is held accountable, that’s not schadenfreude and normally doesn’t stem from counter-empathy.
The lack of stimulation that defines “being bored” gives our imagination room to play and grow.
These are vulnerable conversations, but worth the discomfort.
“If you’re not asking for what’s important to you, maybe it’s because you don’t think you are worth it.”
There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed rather than risk feeling disappointment.
The idea of “no regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection.
Maybe we don’t like the accountability that often comes with regret.
Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.
“awe-inducing events may be one of the fastest and most powerful methods of personal change and growth.”
It turns out that confusion, like many uncomfortable things in life, is vital for learning.
The same way you feel a muscle ‘burn’ when it’s being strengthened, the brain needs to feel some discomfort when it’s learning.
Comfortable learning environments rarely lead to deep learning.
The problem starts when we don’t have the skills or experience to tolerate the uncertainty and ambiguity and we give in to the cravings for neat, mutually exclusive categories.
When we’re reading, listening, or watching, we can learn to recognize complexity as a signal of credibility.
We can favor content and sources that present many sides of an issue rather than just one or two.
The uncertainty feels like self-awareness to me.
