More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
It never gets you ready for the repercussions of the Domino effect that will inevitably take place. And there always will be one. No matter the scale. That night at the party was mine. Because I didn’t say no. But I can’t remember if I said yes either…
“You’re safe,” I whisper to myself, curling up on my bed in a fetal position. “You’re safe.”
Who the hell did she hook up with at the party that makes her look so…empty?
Plus, there’s the whole prejudice against jocks thing that makes him a total douche canoe.
sit completely still in my chair while the ‘badass’ footballer puts my hair into a simple braid.
I pick up my phone and examine myself in the camera app, then look at him. “It looks good.” I touch it lightly and smile. He leans back in his seat, stretching out his legs as he watches me proudly. “I know how to dye hair too. My grandma used to make me help dye hers when the white started taking over. Hate the smell of the stuff, but I’m pretty damn good.”
My head tilts. “I do laugh, you know.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Not enough.” We stare at each other for a long time. I can’t make myself look away.
They see a freshman who looks like a like puppy in need of some guidance and want to help in any way they can.
When you spend a long time wondering where you fit in, you hold on a little tighter to the people who make you feel like the perfect sized puzzle piece in their jigsaw puzzle.
Skylar appears at the doorway, sheepishly glancing between me and the team’s running back who’s taking a swag of his drink.
Biting the inside of my cheek so hard I can taste blood, I whisper, “You guys wanted to know what the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done was. Well, now you know your answer. I lost my virginity to some random guy at my first college party, and I can’t even remember it.”
I lean back and perch my elbows on the edge of her desk behind me. “Who’s your celebrity crush?” A small smile curls up her lips. “Selena Gomez can totally get it.”
Like always, my friend delivers with a much-needed subject change that successful draws me away from my brain before I slip into a
When he offers me his arm, I stare at it for a solid ten seconds before he says, “Grant me the chance to properly escort a pretty girl to my favorite place. Just this once.”
My head cocks in curiosity. “What is it that I’ve done for you that makes you think you owe me?” She nibbles on her lip. “You’ve been my friend.” Oh, Skylar. “You don’t owe me anything for that. If anything, it’s the other way around.”
I’ve already been claimed, even if the person who has me doesn’t know it yet.
“Honestly? I think I know why I kept suspecting it was you, why I was so determined to believe it.” “Why?” There’s a brief pause. “I wanted it to be you,” she whispers.
Her eyes finally travel to my face. “If you had the chance to forget the choices you made instead of looking them in the eye, wouldn’t you?”
“No. When the driver is talking, the passenger shuts their cakehole.”
“You were drunk. Nobody should have taken advantage of a college girl having a good time, even if you’d…said you wanted it in the moment. Even you enjoyed doing things with him. Anyone in that room could’ve seen how wasted you were. I’m not saying that to embarrass you, I’m simply stating facts. Don’t think for a second that I think any less of you because of everything that happened that night. If you gave me the chance, I’d happily replace that night with new memories in any way you’d want me to. Name the time and day and I’m there. Understand me?”
Clearing my throat, I let out a breath and brush her nose gently with mine until I hear the smallest intake of breath. “For the record—” My voice is huskier than I intend. “—I wish it would have been me too. I would have made it so fucking good for you, there would’ve been no way you’d forget.”
Blondie: I was thinking about something you said… Blondie: You told me you’d help me replace the memories from the party with new ones. I think I’d like that.
Danny: I’m partial to those baggy clothes you wear tho…
Me: Want dinner? Blondie: Should I be concerned that you’re asking about dinner in the same conversation you mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer? Me: I eat people in a very different way, Blondie. I can demonstrate if you want
“If this is what you want, I’m down. We’ll take it a day at a time. Be friends. Be…whatever you need. I won’t push or expect anything that you’re not willing to give. But, Skylar?” She stares, silent and waiting. “There’s a lot of things I’d love to give you,” I admit. “Things that would make you feel so fucking good. The second that moment comes, you won’t remember anything other than my mouth on your pussy and my hands on your body. It’d be the best thing you ever felt. I promise.”
“What?” “I was just thinking that you should smile more,” he says, almost to himself more than to me. “That’s all. It’s nice.”
“Words can hurt too. Sometimes more than physical blows.”
As soon as I lay down, he wraps his arm around my shoulder and tugs me into his side. He lets out a content sigh. No words. Just a sigh.
What’s hotter than a guy who reads? Nothing.
“These,” he says, “are sexy as hell. And as much as I’m dying to see if your bra matches, I want you to fall apart on my tongue before any of your roommates get back.”
A smile blossoms across his face. “Look at you using proper sports terms.” He drops his feet and leans forward, plucking my nose. “I’m going to make a football fan out of you yet. Wait and see.”
“She told me that there would come a time when I needed to stop making myself so available to people,” he says, brows going up knowingly when I sink into my seat. “The more we try helping people, understanding them, the more we lose ourselves along the way. You don’t always have to be nice to everybody, Sky. Being nice usually only gets you used.”
“Sky,” I press my lips to hers to stop her from talking. “There is no ‘payback’ when it comes to intimacy. We get each other off because we want to, not because we’re obligated. And I really, really want to fuck you with my fingers until I feel you clenching them so hard I come in my pants again. Feel me?”
“You need to talk to somebody. Please.” She’s silent. “Please.”
Because the biggest thing I’ve learned in my over four months at Lindon is that friendship is about the people who walk into your life when everybody else walks out.
Ten minutes later, the sound of my voice being called from the doorway has me turning toward the girl who says it.
“I-It’s not you.” My voice is unrecognizably broken, heart shattering piece by tiny piece in my chest. I cling to him like he’s my lifeline to forget everything else trying to grab ahold of my brain. “It wasn’t you. I wish it was you. I wish it had been you,” I say into his neck, sniffing back the tears that keep leaking from my eyes.
His palm strokes my spine in comfort as he drops his head to peck my shoulder. “Oh, Sky. You have no idea how much I wish the same thing. No fucking idea. Let it out, baby. It’s okay. You’re okay.” I’m okay, I force myself to repeat.
If I want to prove to Skylar that I’ve got her back, I’ll figure out how to deal with Wallace before he ruins shit for all of us.
cut him off before he tells me what I’ve been trying to convince myself of for months. “You’re right, I do. And I’m choosing to let you in. I’m choosing not to let the past choices I made drown me. I want to move on. With my life. With you. I want this to work, Danny.”
“I’m doing it, Skylar.” He throws his hands up. “I’m begging you. I beg you to trust me. I beg you to believe that I would never lie to you. I wouldn’t hurt you. I’ll do anything to prove it. Fucking anything.”
“Don’t you see, Danny? I’m broken. Somebody broke me in that room. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. Because the only thing I can be certain of is that what happened in there makes me weak. Messed up. What if I can’t trust?”
Serenity grips my shoulders, pinning my blurry glazed eyes with hers. “You. Were. Drunk. And from what little you do remember tells me he was sober enough to con you into doing things you shouldn’t have agreed to. If you really agreed. Guys like that are pieces of shit because they do it for the power. They want to control every aspect of a situation by handing women drinks and encouraging them to do whatever they want. You have to talk to the campus police.”
let out a choppy breath and move my eyes over the generic MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS written in bold on the inside of the card. But when I move the tickets aside, I see what’s written underneath in smudged ink.
Blondie – Giving you space hasn’t been easy, but hopefully it’ll be worth it. Especially if you decide to use this extra ticket on me. But if not, it’s yours to do what you want with. I just want you to be happy. Text me. You know my number.
She chuckles. “If you think that’s sweet, you should see the video his mother got of him yammering away on the car ride home. All he talked about was how he was going to wife you up, whatever the hell that means.”
I ask, “Doesn’t my girlfriend look fine?” Skylar doesn’t correct me. She simply beams.
“Don’t you get it by now, Blondie? I’m willing to do anything for you. Be your friend. Be your mentor. Be your bodyguard. What I want more than anything is to be your boyfriend, which means I’m going to keep being a mixture of all those things even if it means me almost punching somebody in the face.”
lips with his in a soft kiss before pulling back. “I love you too, Blondie. And I plan on proving that to you for as long as you’ll let me.”
“I don’t want to hurt y—” I stop her by tugging her toward me as I lay back again. “Baby, the only way you’d hurt me is by not sitting on my face. You’re killing me here.” “That seems a bit dramatic.”
