“Hey, they’re feeling unsafe. I need to do something—maybe make it safer.” Unfortunately, more often than not, instead of taking their attack as a sign that safety is at risk, you take it at its face—as an attack. “I’m under attack!” you think. Then the dumb part of your brain kicks in and you respond in kind. Or maybe you try to escape. Either way, you’re not dual-processing and trying to restore safety. Instead, you’re becoming part of the problem as you get pulled into the fight.
