The Quarterback (The Team, #2)

by Tal Bauer

“Having fun?” Nick asked, breathless. Wes’s beaming smile said it all. His gaze drifted over Nick’s shoulder to where Colton was twirling Justin around and around and around, and Justin was laughing so hard he was almost hiccuping. “It feels like a dream,” Wes said. “Good answer. Loving my son should be a dream come true.”

Colton felt the distance opening between him and Nick like a canyon, the loss of Nick’s touch like the loss of the sun.

Their odd friendship, and the way Colton meant something he couldn’t define, brought him back to the jock house, day after day after day, to see Colton. He wouldn’t be forgetting the lost-little-boy look Colton had given him after the doctor had left his hospital room. Or how he’d crumpled toward Nick, collapsing in on himself.

“I need something to do. Something to focus on. I mean, I showered today because you were coming, and that’s… all I have to look forward to, you know? You coming over was the only thing that got me to move today. So, you know. Thanks. I know you’ve got a shit ton of stuff to do—” “I’ll come see you every day, Colton.” “No, jeez, you don’t have to. I wasn’t trying to guilt you into—” “I want to come see you. I’m happy to.”

Colton’s smile was thin, almost wistful. “You were there when he needed you.” There was something Colton was saying and not saying. Nick held back from what he wanted to say: I’ll be here for you, too, as long as you need.

“Want to play again when you come over tomorrow?” “Sure.” Nick selected to restart the level. “And I’m not done for today yet. So I go left at that turn?” “Right. You go left.” “You mean correct. I go left.” “Right.” The game loaded as Nick glared at Colton. Colton grinned back at him, so big and broad and wide it made Nick’s cheeks ache in sympathy. He hadn’t seen those sad, lost eyes in hours. Whatever else, he counted that a win.

Nick meant it when he said he’d be there every day as long as Colton needed company. Colton wasn’t his son, but he was… special.

The conversation flowed over Nick. He was content to listen and catch Colton’s glances every few minutes, as if he was checking in to see if Nick was still there, still having fun.

Of course, Colton was one boy among dozens on each of his teams, and the only way to get attention was to stand out. Be goofy. Be good, damn good, at sports. Be anything except himself. People left when he was himself.

His gaze raked over Colton, from his tightly knotted Texas tie and his white button-down to his pressed black pants and shining dress shoes. “You did great. You look perfect.”

“No, it can stay. You’re having fun with the game, right?” “I am. But I won’t play without you.”

He looked soft, warm, and comfortable. Like the word home turned into a person.

Could he stand it if Nick vanished? If he wasn’t in the stands or in Colton’s life? What if Nick was just another missing face he searched for game after game after game? If he ever played again.

He wanted Nick to fall for him, because Colton had already fallen for Nick.

I want to be your quarterback for the rest of my days.

“’Course I want to. That’s not something you face alone.” Nick’s smile grew both sadder and softer. “I was, until you walked in.”

“I get it. Tonight is a shitty night for you.” “It’s better with you here.”

If you loved me, I’d never make you regret it. I’d never give you a reason to wish we hadn’t met. If you loved me, I’d never let you drink to try to forget us.

“Nah,” Nick said. He knocked back the last of one of the tastings, swallowing it in one gulp rather than dumping it into the reservoir he’d told Colton was there specifically to pour old tastings into. “He’s not my son.” He rested his hand on Colton’s lower back.

But then Nick pulled up his camera and said, “Smile,” and he snapped a photo of him and Colton together doing exactly what Colton had just thought they shouldn’t admit they were doing. In the photo, Colton had tipped his head toward Nick’s like he was with his damn girlfriend—boyfriend—and both of their faces were flushed, smiles stretching their cheeks as wide as they would go.

I want to be your quarterback. I want a million nights like this. I want you to always smile at me exactly the way you are right now.

Nick’s lips parted. He groaned, and his tongue snaked out and met Colton’s as he reached for Colton with both hands, tugging him forward so unexpectedly he tumbled into Nick’s hold, his chest crashing against Nick’s as he stood in the bracket of Nick’s spread thighs. Stunned, he broke the kiss—You fucking idiot, why did you do that, you just got what you always wanted!—and reared back. He felt his own eyes go wide as he stared at Nick’s kiss-swollen lips and dilated pupils. “Are you kissing me back?” he blurted out. “Are you kissing me?” Nick breathed.

“I want you.” His whisper bounced off Nick’s lips. “I want you, Nick.”

“Can you go first?” Colton finally whispered. “Because last night, I kissed you, and when you kissed me back, I thought that meant you wanted it, too. And I’m scared to kiss you right now, or touch you, because I’m afraid I pushed you, and that I might push you again—” Nick closed the distance between them and took Colton’s face between his hands. Leaned in and closed his lips over Colton’s, hushed him with a kiss.

“Oh, fuck,” Nick breathed. Colton went pale. He tried to pull away. “Stop,” he croaked. “Stop. You don’t want this. Forget it, forget about last night.” “No,” Nick growled. He grabbed Colton’s cheek and pulled him back. “I don’t want to forget. And I don’t want to stop. I want you, Colton.”

“Can we,” Colton asked, pulling back only enough to breathe, “Can we keep my sling on? I know it’s not sexy—” “Please keep your sling on.” Nick cupped his face. Cradled his jaw. “I’m mad at myself for letting you take it off last night. Was I careful with you, at least?” “You’re always wonderful with me.” Colton kissed him. Kissed him again. “I don’t want you to hurt because of me.” Colton’s cheeks flushed. He swallowed, and he brushed his nose along Nick’s, pushed his forehead into Nick’s. “I hurt myself falling for you.”

They got the sling off and Colton’s shirt over his head, then slipped Colton’s sling back around his neck. Nick had never seen Colton in his sling and shirtless before, and where it might have looked goofy on another person, nothing could take away from Colton’s attractiveness. He seemed uncertain, though, so Nick pushed him gently to the mattress and straddled his lap. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, then kissed him.

“I was thinking about sucking your dick for half the drive.” Another moan, and Colton dug his fingers into Nick’s ass. “I’m not gonna last long.” “Then I’ll just make you hard again.”

“Just put your hand on me,” Nick whispered. “I want to kiss you when I come. And I’m close.”

“Maybe I could be the only guy you’re ever with.” Colton spoke softly, almost a whisper. “I can’t imagine being in bed with any other man.” He couldn’t imagine being in bed with anyone else at all, really.

“I’m a giver.” He nuzzled Colton’s cheek. “I like seeing you come. I like hearing you say my name when you do, too.”

“You’re not supposed to touch yourself,” he whispered in Colton’s ear. “That’s my job.” “I’m trying not to come,” Colton whimpered. “I’m so fucking close.” “Roll over, and come in my mouth.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you? Nick, you’re…” He swallowed. “You’re so freaking amazing it’s unreal. You’re so smart. Look at what you just did.” He nodded behind him, like he was nodding at Lubbock. “You’re an awesome guy. You’re kind to everyone. Always. It’s one of the best things about you. You were kind to me when you didn’t have to be. Look at everything you’ve done to help me.” He flushed. “I mean, you know, before.” Nick smiled. “This seems like the time to ask what you see in me, but I’m kind of scared to.” What if Nick said something like Your muscles or How you play quarterback or even I don’t know, but you kissed me and it had been a while since anyone had? He tried to chuckle away his nerves as he ground his heel into the carpet. “You’re genuine,” Nick breathed. “You’re exactly who you are. I look at you, and I can see your entire heart.” He inhaled, sharply. “And what I see, I trust.”

“Hey.” Nick took Colton’s chin in his hand. He waited, and finally, Colton’s gaze rose. Wide, uncertain eyes flickered to him and then away. “I want this,” Nick whispered. “I want to be with you. Yes, everything with you is new and different, but I’m not disgusted by any of it. Can’t you tell how much you turn me on?” “Everyone likes blow jobs.” “I like you more than I like blow jobs.”

“Didn’t I tell you you were amazing?” Colton whispered.

“Are you having fun?” He brushed his nose against Nick’s. “I always do with you.”

If you love me, I’ll stay forever.

“I love you,” he whispered. The moon didn’t fall, and the grasses didn’t wither, and Nick didn’t wake up. He didn’t stare at Colton and curl his lip, sneer at him, demand to be let out of the truck. “I love you,” he whispered again, this time to Nick’s hand as he kissed the bend of his thumb. He rolled Nick’s hand carefully, then planted a kiss on Nick’s ring finger. One day, I hope. He held Nick’s hand and listened to his lover’s steady, gentle breathing for the rest of the moon-drenched drive.

“You’re beautiful, Colton. Sometimes I can’t breathe when I look at you.”

Hunger softened, eventually. Nick’s lips carved a path from Colton’s neck to his jaw, then to his quivering mouth. I love you I love you I love you— “Colton,” Nick whispered. Colton cradled Nick’s face and kissed him as his vision went watery and burning tears began a slow slide down his temples.

Didn’t you know this was how it was going to end? It always ends like this. People leave when you’re yourself.

Why did no one ever love him back? Why was it so easy for people to leave him? What was wrong with him that made everyone walk away, go back to their own lives, and leave him behind?

“Colton!” He froze like he was caught in a lion’s gaze as a man tore out of the car and left it idling in the middle of the road. Footsteps pounded on pavement. “Colton,” the voice called again, catching in the middle. Fracturing. In his dreams, he was always running to Nick. Running across the field, or running to catch up to him, or, recently, running to chase him as he slipped away. Always, always him running to Nick, but at one a.m. in the middle of a dark street, Nick ran to him.

“I love you,” Nick breathed. “Colton, I love you.” His hands were shaking, and he held on to Colton like he thought Colton was going to vanish. His eyes were wide, panicked, all of him vibrating with a fear Colton had never seen in him before. “I fell in love with you so hard it scared me. I didn’t think there was any way you could love me back, not with everything you have in your life. So I tried not to let myself dream of things that would never happen.” His voice broke. “But I can’t stop. I can’t stop loving you. It’s probably impossible, but I have to tell you. I can’t go another day like this. I can’t not tell you that I love you. God, Colton, I love you, and I never want you to

leave. I want to be with you, however we can. Whatever that looks like. I’ll do anything.”

“Maybe I’m too late.” Nick’s voice broke on a strangled cry. “I get it. I understand if I’m not your choice, Colton. I never imagined I could compare to your future. Why would you want me when you have the whole world at your fingertips?” Colton shook his head. “I didn’t want the rest of the world, Nick. I only wanted our world.”

He only wanted to be loved, and cherished, and needed by one person in the world. And he was.

“The only thing I ever wanted more than football was for someone to love me.” Colton’s voice was small and soft. His deepest secret, laid bare for Nick to have and to hold.

Nick’s hands cupped his cheeks. “Come to bed? It’s too empty without you.”

“I love you,” Nick whispered. “And I should have told you that the first time we made love.” Colton wrapped his arms and legs around Nick. “I was thinking it the whole time. I swore I thought I was thinking so loudly you could hear me like I was screaming.” “I wish I had.” He kissed Nick, softly. Tenderly. “Tell me you love me every day?” “I will. I promise.”